


Black Flames, Red Halo

by Epselion



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Past Child Abuse, Snoke is a dick, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Torture, brendol is a dick, it's actually part of the plot wow, might add tags along the way, there's also actual dicks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2018-12-20 12:03:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11920509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Epselion/pseuds/Epselion
Summary: Kylo dreams prophetic dreams- Visions of meeting a Sith-Lord in an old vessel that looks out over a dying star. He is certain that this moment will define his place in the war, that it will bring completion and finality to his purpose. In the present however there is the matter of his training, travelling to an unknown location and saying goodbye- For good this time- To Hux.What upsets him most however is how heavy it falls to say goodbye to Hux, or how his training feels like a hoax. Then, when at last he meets the Sith of his visions, nothing turns out how Kylo had expected it to, and instead of finality he opens a whole new plot to his life in meeting him.





	1. Transition

**Author's Note:**

> Another story is beginning omg. Those who come here via tumblr might know me (same username as here) and have seen that I was whining about the fact that I had too many WIPs, none of which I was posting for. So I'm posting now, and every now and then I'm just going to alternate between these stories (maybe even with double updates etc, I don't know yet). Anyway, Black Flames is one of these fics that I have in my WIP folder, so I hope it's what you've all been hoping to read :p

_ It’s death that follows him. Like a creeping shadow on every wall. It’s everywhere, from the blood that stains the tails of his coat- The stench in the air… The silence of his presence. He’ s faceless, a solemn silhouette against the raging red of a dying sun. His back is turned, rigid and poised, as he watches the red of that sun flicker and burst. There’s fascination in him, even if his face is hidden, even if all there is to be seen is the dark outline of his presence- A tall and powerful man against the red fire of a sun that is spinning out of control. There is much that must be asked, but words seem to die before reaching the scene. It’s a vision that feels heavy, altered… It feels as if it’s certain, and yet it feels tampered with, like a thick bubble protects it from further invasion. The man against the sun turns, hands reaching for the hood that is pulled over his head- And it all shatters, shards crumble away, and yet again… He could not see his face. _

 

Kylo wakes with a gasp, his eyes blind for a short moment as he slowly re-attaches to his body. It is too slow, and he curses himself for the momentary lapse. He chases this vision so often, he cannot stand the way it escapes from him each time. The moment is monumental- Kylo is convinced of it. He knows it is important- He knows it is in his future. He just cannot dig further. He huffs out a breath and turns to his side, absently staring at the outlines of Hux on the other side of the ship. He doesn’t seem to have sensed Kylo’s sudden activity… He doesn’t seem to be aware of anything at all even. 

 

When awake- The General’s own mind is a constant buzz that Kylo hates. It’s like an insect that keeps nagging close to you. The whirl of thought never seems to stop. Kylo doesn’t specifically know what those thoughts are- He doesn’t pick it up that clearly, but he can sense that continuous activity whenever that man is in a 30ft radius. Now though- He is dead quiet, must have passed out after the shitload of pills Kylo saw him take. He might have worried if he cared at all, but he knows Hux is too trained and disciplined to resign to suicide after failure. Starkiller was not Hux’s fault- Even Kylo has admitted that in silence… But it was Hux’s responsibility, all of it, so the actual consequences will be his to deal with. 

 

Kylo can imagine such a thing takes a good dose of chemically induced sleep to repress. Only for the better though, so Kylo can reflect on his vision in peace. It is a more frequent occurrence lately, always the same. The room is impressive, large and grand. It is meant to carry a sort of intimidation, and yet it feels oddly empty. It feels like it belongs in a different time- A bygone era, which is even more likely when Kylo considers the raging flicker of that red sun that he can see through those massive windows. They are tall and minimalist, like everything in that room is, solid and bold lines, straight to the point and posing a sort of unyielding strength. However, none of it looks as strong and unyielding as the man that is always there, the one that stands there with his back to Kylo, with his hood up- Hands clasped behind his back almost nonchalantly as he stares at the rage of a dying star. 

 

Kylo knows what he is, it radiates from every inch of that silhouette- Even in the vision he can feel that presence like a dizzying wave. A true Sith-lord… An actual living Sith. Kylo always tries to see more of him, but the silhouette is too darkened by the sun- He cannot see the materials he wears, the weapons he carries. He is a solid outline, silent and unrecognizable. Kylo just knows he wears the hood, that shape is easy to discern, and he has seen the way his coat splits in two tails at the back, long and heavy fabric- As he can tell from the way it moves. But each time the other turns a bit, when those hands reach up to that hood to reveal a face- All of it disappears. It’s like Kylo is forcefully yanked away- As if there is more to see, but someone won’t allow him to see it. He doesn’t know who he is, the Sith he dreams of.

 

He can guess though- He has hopes. His eyes wander to his wrist. The mark of a soulmate… Their name, carved into your flesh from birth onwards. In his skin it looks crude- Like all of him is. It looks like one of his many scars, the same coarse skin and discoloration. He traces the first letter with his finger, chewing on his lip. He suspects it is him… The Sith-lord might be the one he is looking for. Kylo still feels surprise sometimes- That he has a name in his skin. He knows there are some who have nothing in their flesh. Some are not made to have that most intimate of loves. Kylo had expected he was one of those. The opposite is true apparently. The deeper the name is engraved, the more solid the match. Kylo’s is really quite prominent- Which means he will have a strong connection to his lover. 

 

He figures that one day he will join him, that he will meet him and that everything will fall into place. That had surprised him too- At first. It is a man’s name that is set into his skin, it was softly said a bit of a shock to everyone around him, that he would have a mark running so deep, for a man. When they meet though, at long last, it must be glorious. It will be different from what he has now. True… Hux is good distraction sometimes- But he hates him almost more than he sometimes loves him. Hux is easy, yielding… He can take a lot of Kylo’s violent passion, matches it with a fire of his own. He is just dull though… He is not enough. Kylo feels that despite his powers and the constant closeness between them- He cannot see into Hux, he is shallow, there is too little of him. He is a gear in a machine, his consciousness is barely his own. Kylo hates the way he thinks, hates the way he talks, hates what he is and represents… And yet they always collide again, it always ends in someone’s bed, full of bitter kisses with too much teeth and nails like claws.

 

Kylo suspects Hux is one of those unfortunate souls with a clean wrist, skin spotless even there. He has never looked when they are together, it is not his to look at. He and Hux do not belong, so Kylo has no business prying at whoever does match the General- If there is anyone at all. From his usual bitterness and anger Kylo would expect not. The ship shakes a bit, picking up a light turbulence from whatever it is they are travelling through. Snoke had him train on a remote planet, beyond even the outer rim. Kylo would have never known it existed, so lone and far removed from their known galaxy. He was surprised when Hux was the one to pick him up there, by himself even. Hux is the type that would have sent someone else, Kylo had figured, yet he was the one stepping out of that shuttle to pick him up. Kylo had felt odd, so long alone, and suddenly there was a ship, lingering presence of people, Hux’s buzzing mind. He had needed some time to adjust to it. Hux offered him food and clean clothes, but they didn’t speak. Hux was odd, not like he usually was. He felt more distant, more closed. Starkiller’s destruction must weigh heavy on him. 

 

Kylo looks his way again and finds Hux hasn’t moved an inch, still on his side, back to Kylo. He always looks so ridiculously narrow without that uniform around him. The lights are dimmed, so they can sleep, but there is still a bit of a glow coming from two thin strips on the ceiling, allowing them to move without bumping into things. It’s a weak blue light, almost green even, giving everything a bit of a spooky hue if Kylo is honest. It is just enough to make out the contours and plains of everything. The small cargo-hold of this shuttle isn’t too vast, so its contents are cramped. There are two cots, both narrow, although Kylo’s is staple, the one Hux pulled out for himself is a spare, even more cramped. He doesn’t need much space- Kylo knows this from the rare occasions that Hux let him sleep the night in his bed. Hux doesn’t move in his sleep, just stays on his side and only turns when he wakes up a moment. It’s off-putting, like he is in something much deeper than simple sleep. He is still breathing though, Kylo can see the ever so light rise and fall of his chest.

 

Kylo’s eyes wander to the front of the shuttle. The viewports are shaded, but he can see the stars flashing by in streaks, a constant rush of light and black, nothing to see. The panels are glowing a bit, the controls illuminated with soft reds and oranges, everything is normal. Yet, Kylo has been surrounded by trees, rivers, bushes and grass for god knows how long. He found it hard to tell time on the planet he stayed. It was always dark there, too far removed from its sun to get light. Its growth and plants thrived on darkness, wispy white things that were something akin to ghostly. It was quite a beautiful place, Kylo had enjoyed it there. Day and night blurred, he stayed awake until he would succumb to sleep and he ate when he felt hungry. He listened only to what his body told him to do, trusting its needs and expectations. It was detached- Snoke did not visit him or instruct him. It was not the training he had expected, he had been unsure of what to do all the time, but instead trusted on the Force to guide him… It had pleased Snoke apparently, because Hux had come for him. 

 

He sits up straight and reaches for his clothes, slipping into his pants before he steps from the cot. The temperature is just near chilly, but he has enough body-heat to work against it. He stretches and rolls his muscles, huffing at the light pull he still feels from his scars. He wears them with pride, marks of battle, but they stay tender for so long, especially the deep one in his shoulder, or the mark where the bolt from the crossbow impacted. They are still in the process of healing, the skin pink and raised, sensitive to the touch when he isn’t careful enough. He walks around Hux, regarding him as he sneaks to the storage unit in the back, taking out several rations he can sort of hold down. The rations from the Order are perhaps the most disgusting things Kylo has eaten in his life. He had always expected they would be bland and mushy. That is unfortunately not true, he would prefer that over the truth actually. To make up for the fact that the food is synthetic as can be, the rations are heavily seasoned. When opening a package, it’s almost as if someone unleashed a powder-bomb. It burns in the nostrils, itches in your eyes until they water. When you eat it, most is just a burning sensation on the tongue, followed by a hit of salt that threatens to make your mouth dry in an instant. It is disgusting and probably not even healthy, but it is all the food he can get his hands on as long as he stays with the Order. 

 

He huffs as he lets some water into the sealed package before the powdered seasoning can start to float in the air. The packet describes his meal as bread with chunks of meat and dried fruit. He isn’t convinced. All of it has the exact same texture and he chews fast not to get too much of the stuff on his tongue. He wonders briefly what will be asked of him next. If Hux came to pick him up it means Kylo is wanted yet again to aide the First Order in their progress. He had hoped that with the sudden end of Starkiller they would be done with the military conquer… Snoke must have other things for him in store than to aide these power-hungry monkeys. He hears a rustle and lifts his head just in time to see Hux turn on his other side, eyes distant when he catches sight of Kylo. 

 

“You’re awake.” He mutters, pushing up on his elbow to look at him. 

 

“I hadn’t eaten in two days. Couldn’t sleep through the rumbles in my stomach.” 

 

Hux simply hums and suppresses a yawn. He slowly sits up as well, legs tangled in the thick blankets he has been sleeping under. He looks a bit lost for a moment, staring at Kylo as if he is trying to discern something from him- As if he is contemplating something. Kylo cannot find much on his mind however. Instead Hux lowers his head and brushes his hand through his hair, it’s wild, standing up in clumps on the right side of his head, almost jagged and spiked. Kylo smirks at it a bit but doesn’t mention it. 

 

“When will we arrive at the Finalizer? I see you were not yet prepared for arrival anytime soon- Yet, we have been travelling for hours already...” 

 

Hux checks the time on his chrono and sits back against the wall of the shuttle, allowing the blankets to pool over his legs and around his waist as he gets more comfortable.

 

“We are not going to the Finalizer.” Hux says. “The Supreme Leader has requested your presence elsewhere.” 

 

“Then- Why are you here?”

 

Hux snorts loudly and rolls his eyes a bit. 

 

“Snoke has sent me to deliver you to this location. He thinks it will aide your training to go there… And I must travel there too. Nearby is an old Imperial vessel that we wish to revive for battle-purposes.”

 

“Where am I going?” 

 

“The Black Needle.” Hux announces, hands finally smoothing his hair back into a more dignant shape.

 

Kylo gives him a look and then shrugs, indicating he has no idea what that is supposed to mean.

 

“The Black Needle… The old Imperial Prison. It was famous for how it broke its prisoners, nobody ever left the same- Most of the time they never left at all.”

 

“They?”

 

“Rebels… Republic allies… Enemies of the Empire.”

 

Kylo frowns lightly and twiddles his thumbs.

 

“And now? What does it house now?” 

 

Hux shrugs and looks to the side.

 

“Not for me to know apparently.” He says with a bit of a scoff. “It will be something worth your time I suppose.”

 

He smiles lightly, just a jerk of the lips as he looks the other way again. His eyes wander over the panels, probably knowing them so well by heart that he can just sweep his eyes over everything to see if they are on proper course. Hux appears pleased, turning his attention back to Kylo. 

 

“Still another five hours until we arrive.” He says then. “You might wish to go back to sleep- The Supreme Leader wants you on your best for these final stages, he said.”

 

“Have you ever been to that place before?” Kylo asks. “The Black Needle?” 

 

Hux looks up at his face and gives him a nod.

 

“I was really small.” Hux says. “Father took me there once, to show me what happens to our enemies. It was shortly before I was going to the Academy. He said we would have a place like that again with the First Order, someplace to bring fear to the ranks of the Republic. The Needle was already long abandoned when I came there. It belonged to other days- More glorious ones. But there is never any denying- When you stand in that place, you feel like it knows every secret you hide, no matter how deep it is buried. The wardens never left, don’t think they ever will even. They are made for the work they did there, with the Empire gone they lost purpose.” 

 

“Sounds like it is worth going back to.” Kylo murmurs. “If it has such an impact- You could start using it again.”

 

Hux shakes his head and hides a yawn behind his hand.

 

“The star of that system is dying, it has started to grow and flicker, unstable stages. It will be a year- Maybe a few more- Then the whole Needle will be consumed by it.” 

 

Kylo looks up, instantly reminded of his vision. A dying star… Such a thing could not possibly be a coincidence. He would meet that Sith… He would meet him at the Black Needle. Is he Kylo’s new teacher? Is he a secret Snoke has kept for when he would be ready? He swallows and then nods.

 

“I couldn’t fall asleep anymore now.” He says. “Once I wake, I wake… It is simple as that, it is a rhythm I live with. My body will tell me what it needs.”

 

Hux hums, amused. 

 

“I know.” He says. “I’m familiar with the urges of your body.”

 

His smile is almost devious this time, not malicious like he tends to be. The sharpness isn’t in him today… He looks softer. He looks amused and even somewhat at ease. He regards Kylo for a moment before his eyes flick to the back of the shuttle.    
  
“I’ll be in the Refresher, I won’t be long.” He promises.

 

Kylo nods mutely and stays quiet as Hux slides from the cot and walks to the glass door at the back of the cabin. Hux reaches into a compartment first to grab a change of underwear and a towel, then he disappears to the small cubicle they have on board for sanitation. It’s quite pleasant to have the luxury. Long trips like these require freshening up occasionally, not to mention that every soul needs to relieve their bladder at some point. Kylo stares at the milky glass that is in the door. It shows that the light is on, a glare of white now that the cabin is still dark. He can see Hux pass in front of it a few times, his shape blurred by the glass, but unmistakable with the red hair and pale complexion. He hears a second door click in place and soon afterwards comes the droning pulse of the water-tank, indicating that Hux is using the shower by now. 

 

Kylo slowly slides from the cot again and opens the door too, stepping into the room with a bit of a grumble. The light is unbearably bright. He dims it to 50% instead, enjoying the subdued glow much better. He walks past the small shower stall and unzips his pants, sliding them down his legs and leaving them exactly where he steps out of them. He takes a piss, glad to ease the slight strain it was starting to give on his bladder. He flushes it away and turns to the cubicle instead, putting one hand on the door. It’s not on sonic, he notices- Which is Hux’s go-to setting for a quick scrub. The spray sounds too mellow for that, not to mention the lack of rapidly expanding steam. He licks his lips and presses his palm against the panel, the door sliding aside to let him in. 

 

Hux doesn’t look surprised when Kylo shuffles in, carefully inserting himself in the limited amount of space that is left in the tiny stall. Hux simply reaches to his right and presses the panel again to close it off. The water continues to pelt- Kylo now sure that Hux has been waiting for him. The setting of the shower, leaving its panel unlocked, the small smile on his lips as Kylo looks him in the eye. There is so little space here that they are almost touching already. Kylo’s naked back is pressed against the wall on the right side of the cabin, Hux is only half an inch away from the left one. Neither of them can spread their arms without hitting the glass door-panel or the wall itself. It’s a tiny cubicle, and yet they are perfectly content on sharing it today. 

 

They don’t talk for even a moment, Kylo somehow knows what is wanted of him- Because he wants it too. It is the reason he stepped in here, it is the reason he moved from the cot. He has missed human contact, physical contact. He reaches out one hand, clasping it around the back of Hux’s neck. He is soft as always, his skin so supple and cool. The hairs that gather at the base of his head just tickle the index-finger of Kylo’s hand- Wet, delicate… Familiar. Kylo leans in, his hand tightening when he realizes he will have to let go again later today- That Hux will go away again- That his next human contact may be months away… Possibly even more. He kisses Hux, not on the lips, as Hux will not allow that. Instead, Kylo presses his lips to Hux’s throat, inhaling that typical scent of his wet skin, tongue sliding to catch some of the water that clings to it. His other hand grabs Hux by the hip, cornering him into the wall with the bulk of his own body. Hux jumps up against him, legs circling his waist, blindly trusting that Kylo will hold him in place, which he does. His arms loop around Kylo’s shoulders and his head tilts to the side in a quiet request for more. 

 

Kylo obliges, his nose pressing flat when his mouth opens to give more kisses to Hux’s neck and shoulder. Hux latches a hand in his hair and guides his head, Kylo allowing his fingers to pull him to where Hux wants to be kissed. He enjoys the stifled sounds that leave Hux’s throat when he nips with his teeth at some places. The General bruises so easily, Kylo enjoys watching the way it spreads under his skin, purple tainting that usual pristine white of his skin. He pulls back a bit and looks Hux in the face, giving him a bit of a grin when Hux gives him a challenging glare, as if he wants Kylo to hurry up already. Kylo smirks and nuzzles his cheek. It is quite different than it usually is between them. Hux hasn’t cursed at him yet, hasn’t yanked at his hair or clawed with his nails. Kylo hasn’t gripped onto him like a vice- Hasn’t tightened his hold around that narrow throat so he can hear Hux sputter to get a breath out. It’s quiet and warm, and Kylo is confused that it is. 

 

He doesn’t ask about it, he doesn’t say a single word- Nor does Hux, which is far more surprising. They only pass soft sounds between them as Kylo works Hux open with his fingers, slightly too eager and depraved to be very gentle- He knows Hux can take a lot of manhandling, but he still takes note when Hux lets out a bit of a strained huff when Kylo wants too much too fast. When it is finally enough Kylo starts to fuck him, slow and languid, his hands supporting Hux by the hips when he feels the other’s thighs strain to keep himself wrapped around Kylo’s waist. Hux’s nails do dig into his back now, but it is a dull bite of pain, not like he is trying to tear into him. His mouth is latched onto Kylo’s shoulder, teeth scraping a little, soon soothed by a warm tongue as Hux uses Kylo’s own skin to stifle his moans. He is almost clingy in a way, wrapped around Kylo like he doesn’t intend to let go ever again. Kylo pins him closer against the wall, gaining more leverage as he rolls his hips against Hux, groaning a bit as he feels the coil in his loins tighten already. He had really missed the sexual relief he could have with Hux… More than he cares to admit. 

 

When he picks up pace and strength Hux clings more closely to him, the sounds still muffled on Kylo’s shoulder even though they are quite audible now. The movements make the wall creak ever so slightly, the plating on the durasteel construction isn’t that thick, and once Kylo loses himself in the momentum it starts to quiver and groan a bit, Hux’s back bruising where he bonks against the seams each time. Kylo is breathing heavily by now, his fingertips digging into Hux’s thigh and backside, his knees starting to feel slightly treacherous when the climax comes closer and closer rapidly. Hux latches one hand over the top of the cubicle, just able to reach it and his hand grasps over the top of the panel so they aren’t colliding so hard when Kylo puts strength behind his movements. Hux’s mouth finally leaves his skin when he leans back to grip that panel, and Kylo relishes in the beautiful sound that leaves Hux’s mouth when he gives him even more. He can hear Hux’s teeth clack together each time he thrusts up, he can feel the way his fingers quiver where they hold onto his hair with a vice grip, the roots of those strands straining from the pull of Hux’s hand. 

 

Kylo hears how his own breath sounds desperate, coming out in eager puffs and growls, he feels a slight rushing in his ear, and he can feel how sweat is running down his back and legs despite the pelting water. His hands feel tired, but he doesn’t let go of Hux, he won’t- Not until he has what he is building towards. He instead focuses on the moans that Hux’s voice makes, the light whimper at the end of them, the way his legs are tense around Kylo’s waist, ensuring Kylo that his toes are curled in anticipation of his own building orgasm. He knows Hux too well, knows what his body does and what it means for his body to do the things it does. He huffs, his voice tapering into a needy sort of whine when he hoists Hux up a bit again to readjust his angle, snapping his hips in a near violence- Letting out a breathy laugh as it makes Hux’s voice higher in pitch, the man’s voice strained with lack of air. Between his own huffing breaths he bites kisses into the skin of Hux’s chest, pulling him down and closer as he pounds their hips together, feeling his knees buckle a bit more each time. Hux clenches onto him, his own muscles growing more frantic as he unravels. Kylo had hoped for that, for the way Hux crumbles into a beautiful mess when he is the first to cum. Hux throws his head back, uncaring that he bonks it against the wall. His mouth pours out the sweetest string of moans as his muscles convulse, his face hot and his breath straining almost madly. Kylo fucks him through the frantic clenching and shivering, the whole feeling of that alone is more than enough for him to succumb to the same thing. His own moans sound almost desperate, and he knows he holds Hux too hard, that he hurts him just a bit beyond pleasurable as he holds him tight to empty his load in him.

 

His knees buckle not a second after he has spilled the last drop, and he just manages to make it so that they both sag to the floor of the cabin without falling. They sit in a tangle of limbs, Hux still sort of clinging to him in the same way, panting heavily against Kylo’s chest, the moans slowly dying down. Kylo listens to the way Hux’s breath slowly comes down from erratic to slightly elevated, as he waits for his own to do the same. He runs his hand through Hux’s hair, actually enjoying the feeling of it when it’s not ruined with hair-product. It’s really quite silky when he doesn’t glue it in place. He slowly shifts and slips himself from Hux, groaning at the way it sparks against all his flayed nerves. His fingers lazily circle Hux’s ass, helping him to clean it out and to soothe the stretch where it was unpleasant. Eventually Hux stops holding onto Kylo, slowly sitting back against the other wall, crossing his legs when Kylo gives him some space to sit. They stare at each other in silence, Hux absently rubbing bruised skin, Kylo slowly pulling his legs close to his own chest again as he regards Hux. 

 

“It wasn’t the same.” He says, breaking the silence between them at last. 

 

“What wasn’t?” Hux asks, his voice sounding just a bit rough. 

 

“Us.” Kylo simply replies. “The way we fucked. It was different.” 

 

Hux hums and brushes his hair back with a handful of water. 

 

“Maybe I missed you.” He announces.

 

“You did?” 

 

Hux shrugs and lowers his gaze, staring at his hands as he cleans under his fingernails, like there is dirt under them.

 

“Did you?” Kylo urges.

 

“Not particularly.” Hux huffs. “But then again... My head is one big jumbled mess since-”

 

He stops, gesturing as if he means for Kylo to fill in the rest.

 

“Starkiller.” Kylo adds for him. “Did they demote you?” 

 

Hux shakes his head and finally looks back up at Kylo. 

 

“It’s something you wouldn’t understand.” 

 

Kylo narrows his eyes and tries to reach closer to Hux’s mind, tries to pick up thoughts, but Hux is disturbingly silent up there. The man’s mind is a mystery of its own to Kylo- He can always pick up the buzz, knowing how active Hux’s thoughts are, and Kylo can access them if he tries hard enough. Yet, at the same time Kylo often feels like Hux isn’t a full person. He misses depth, Kylo never senses more than a superficial layer- As if the rest is gone. He suspects it is something the Order does to people, but still… 

 

“I am perhaps more intelligent than you give me credit for, General.” Kylo says with a bit of a smirk. “I understand many more things than you think.”

 

Hux smiles, but this time it is so bitter that Kylo can barely suppress a grimace at the sight of it.

 

“Not this.” He assures Kylo. “You wouldn’t understand, and it is best if you didn’t either.”

 

“You’re not going to die, are you?” Kylo inquires, worried.

 

Hux hums and tilts his head a bit.

 

“Would you care?”

 

Kylo bites his tongue and looks to the side, feeling as if he’s been caught saying something he shouldn’t have.

 

“Of course I would.” He answers, deciding that he might as well go through with the truth now. “We have worked together for five years… Even if I would have been glad to kick you out an airlock myself for at least four of those years.”

 

“But?”

 

“It would be stupid to deny we’ve not started to get used to each other.” Kylo admits. “We know each other- You know more of me than any other in the galaxy, and even though you tend to make it look like you couldn’t care less- You never used my weaknesses against me.”

 

“You would’ve used mine.” Hux simply explains. “Couldn’t afford that.”

 

“I don’t believe Snoke sent you every time you came to retrieve me from a location that put me in jeopardy.” 

 

Hux sighs, looking as if he might have been caught red-handed.

 

“Not always, no… A few times I went on my own accord because I believed the Supreme Leader would prefer his prized apprentice with all limbs attached and not burned to a crisp.”

 

Kylo laughs a bit and nods.

 

“I’d hope so.”

 

He raises his head then and gives Hux a more intense look.

 

“But you have failed to answer my actual question- Are you expecting to die soon?”

 

Hux purses his lips and silently shakes his head.

 

“No.” He murmurs. “There is nothing they can pin on me for the events of Starkiller. However, Snoke has informed me that our allegiance- Our partnership if you will- Is over.”

 

Kylo frowns.

 

“What?” 

 

“You are no longer aiding the First Order for Snoke. After we leave the shuttle, you and I will quite likely never meet again.”

 

There is silence then, the water suddenly pelting too loud between them. Kylo feels the oddest sense of dread creep over him, too unexpected. He should be worried, that the idea of never seeing Hux again is a bad feeling. He hates the General, he cannot stand so much of his personality and his ways- And yet… Now that this has left Hux’s mouth he wants to grab him and shake him until he says it is a lie.

 

“W- What will the Order be doing now?”

 

“We move on our own. I will remain in contact with the Supreme Leader- He is still a major benefactor of ours after all.” Hux replies with seeming ease. “But you- Or any other Force User for that matter- Will no longer be in our ranks.”

 

Kylo hums and slowly slides his feet out until they touch Hux’s shins. He is right there… Right there, in this cramped space they share. They cannot even straighten out without touching- And yet he is going to be gone in some… Four hours? 

 

“I thought you’d be glad.” Hux says, making Kylo raise his head to look at him.

 

“Glad?”

 

“Yes. You have never made it a secret that you felt your powers were wasted on the First Order. You hated it aboard the Finalizer. You felt like you were made for the active participation in our war- Not for some fucking ship that seems far removed from the actual battlefield.”

 

“Y- I… Well... yes.” Kylo stutters. “I just got used to it I think.”

 

Hux stares him down and then looks away.

 

“I don’t doubt you’ll be used to whatever you are off to do now in no time.” 

 

Kylo nods mutely and stands up, rubbing the side of his neck as Hux does the same. Kylo steps out to let him wash up, just staying in the same place, dripping water onto the floor, hair limply hanging along his face. He feels furious with himself, that he doesn’t understand why he is… Upset. Yes, he is upset, and he should not be. It is like Hux said himself; he hates it on the Finalizer, he hates being a puppet for a military power that has no appreciation for his powers. He will be trained for better purposes, everything implies he will meet the Sith-lord he has dreamt about so often these days- Weeks- Hell even months. It means growth and it means he will finally be acknowledged for how truly powerful he is. He will just never see Hux again… A man he should feel relieved to be rid of, and yet… And yet. He balls his fists and stares at the name on his wrist, cursing that it still means nothing to him. He is nearly 30 standard years old, only 2 months short of his birthday. Even now, the name is a stranger’s. It frustrates him, after all this time- For what feels like a lifetime… 

 

“Who are you?” He hisses. “Who- Who are you? Where are you?” 

 

He softly kisses the name and closes his eyes. 

 

“Armitage.” He whispers. “Who are you?” 


	2. Destruction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that I pick week by week(ish) to update on several stories, so if the story you like/love is quiet for a while it means that there is some other story on update that I am putting chapters on, I can't steer my inspiration, so maybe try the other stories when you feel a need to read, and I'm sorry if your preferences are on hold... It's the best my pea-brain can do for ya.

Their goodbye isn’t like Kylo might have expected. Hux does see him off, looking apprehensive at the sight of the tall black vessel. Hux told him it's not a ship, that it's the black core of a dead planet, hewn and altered by Imperial architects. it's truly an impressive thing, even more so because of the red star that illuminates it. Kylo is certain now, now that he has arrived, that this is the place where he meets the Sith in his dreams. The shuttle has landed on a smaller space-dock, a glass tunnel leading to the Needle. It floats ominously in front of them, long and sleek, glowing with red from the sun. It's quiet, the courtyard that this tunnel leads to is deserted. Hux walks with him, the entire long walk-way that takes them there. It smells sulfuric here, maybe from the heat of that star, maybe from the synthetic atmosphere bubble that surrounds this place. It's not a pleasant scent, it smells… Hellish, which is only enhanced by the jutted spike that is the Black Needle, or its red star to light it. Hux’s hair is like fire in this light, looking like it's a living flame on top of that pale head. 

 

“Did Snoke bring me instructions?” Kylo asks as they approach the broad courtyard. 

 

The gates are in sight, the architecture seems to reach out with claws, trapping him, looming and drawing him in. He can understand why the prisoners that came here felt the breath of doom everywhere, the sheer presence of this place is unsettling.

 

“He said this place would strengthen you.” Hux answers, licking his lips. “He said it would rid you of your last sentiments, it would strip you of everything that can bring you back to the Light.”

 

Kylo nods and squares his shoulders.

 

“Has he mentioned how?”

 

Hux shakes his head, hair sweeping with the harsh wind that penetrates the forcefield. He hasn’t smoothed it yet, it’s soft and wispy, which only adds to the illusion of fire. Hux doesn’t look his usual self, and Kylo can pick up the slight apprehension and unease in his mind. He is anxious. 

 

“Surely, it must not be too cruel.” Hux says then, sounding a bit tense. “He cares for you.”

 

“My training has never been easy, Hux. I do what must be done. I will last, whatever he wants me to do.”

 

“I know.” Hux just answers, looking up at the building with a bit of a frown. “I just- I know what they used to do here… And I do not wish it upon you.”

 

“Are you scared for me?” Kylo chuckles.

 

“No.” Hux replies. “I know you are strong… It’s just- Don’t underestimate it. I wouldn’t last a week in there.” 

 

“Yeah? Well, no offense, but you are a fucking stick, Hux.”

 

“How is that not offensive?” 

 

But Hux laughs when he says it, before he rights his back. 

 

“I suppose that this is goodbye then.” He says, looking ever so-slightly different than normal.

 

He looks younger, his expression softer, almost sad.

 

“I hope you live to fulfill your cause. You work so hard for it.” Kylo says.

 

Hux nods, a bit rigid and wrong. His jaw is clenched, harshly. 

 

“You too.” He murmurs, voice unsteady at the last sound. 

 

He lifts his head, cocking it up at Kylo as he stills his nerves, clasping his hands behind his back almost forcefully, righting his posture and giving Kylo a solid look as he salutes him. Kylo smiles a bit and lowers his head, looking away when Hux turns and walks back to the shuttle, strides long and urgent, as if he worries he will doubt and turn back around if he does not walk fast enough. Kylo turns away from him completely, directing his gaze instead at the looming dark spires of the Needle. He blinks furiously when he hears the shuttle power up and then zip away, balling his fists until they feel cramped. Hux is gone now, a chapter of his life that he has just finished. Kylo is ready for the future, he is ready for the glory that waits him- He is ready to forget. Snoke wants sentiment ripped from him anyway, Hux would only make a confusing distraction when he needs to be numbed. 

 

He walks to the front gates, flinching as they part for him before he can reach them. They sound so old and ominous, creaking in a way that almost resembles a low and dangerous laugh. Inside, a long hall stretches out before him. It's vast, so terribly vast. Kylo can see it used to have banners hanging from the ceiling, along the long walk-way. It leads to a set of seats, probably where the court would give its verdicts. The seats are solid things, long and pointed, almost resembling thrones. They are one with the room, hewn from its same rock and seamlessly merging with the floor. No matter how softly Kylo walks he can hear his footsteps resonating, and he hates the way it does- He has the feeling he might wake something he does not want to wake. He walks forward, trying to see if there is some sign waiting for him to explain what his cause is. He reaches the end and regards the star. Through these windows he can see it in all its glory, the material filters the rays just so that the glare isn’t too bright, he can see the fire rage and spit, right there. He can barely see the edges of the star, it's so huge and close that it almost takes up the entire sight, a constant vibration of power spewing from it. 

Kylo halts at the location that would hold the accused, a small platform amidst all these seats, so that the prisoner could be looked down upon by its judges. 

 

“Surrender your saber.” 

 

Kylo startles at the sudden echo of Snoke’s voice. 

 

“Master?” He asks, looking around as if he has missed something vital. 

 

“Your saber. Put it on the floor in front of you.” 

 

Kylo frowns and clips the hilt from his belt, placing it on the floor with a soft clack, standing up straight again. He has come here without his mask, knowing he has no need for it in the presence of his master. He hadn’t worn it on the planet he trained before this, he will not need it here. He pushes his hair from his face, absently deciding he might require a haircut soon, the black curls he wears are starting to grow long- Too long. He watches as the saber is pulled away from him, disappearing someplace elsewhere… He’s confused.

 

“Master… What is it-”

 

“You will not speak.” 

 

Kylo purses his lips and nods, staring at the floor. It’s like ink, the floor. It’s pitch-black, barely reflects the light at all. It looks like it’s ready to swallow up anyone that steps on it, and yet it feels strong and solid under his feet.

 

“The General must have told you of this place.” Snoke says, still hidden from Kylo.

 

“Y-”

 

“No.”

 

Kylo snaps his mouth shut and then nods, angry that he was tempted to speak so easily.

 

“So you know what it used to represent… You must feel it too, the remnants of all that pain and insanity. The cruelty of the Empire found its epitome between these walls.”

 

Kylo continues to stare at the floor.

 

“You will go to a room, the Force will tell you which one I wish for you to find. There you will leave your robes, there you will leave everything. We are stripping you of everything you are, so that the darkness will only remain. No more sentiment- For anyone.” 

 

At this Kylo feels a pang of judgement coming from Snoke, it’s in his voice. He means Hux- He knows… Of course he does… But Kylo is surprised that Snoke hates the idea. Despite his flaws and simplicity, Hux has a very dark alignment. He’s always thought that Snoke was pleased he would stick to someone that is as twisted and ambitious as Hux is. Instead of being tempted to ask Kylo nods again. 

 

“You must understand this stage will be hard on you. You will never be the man you are now again. You will never go back to being this. We will crush and shatter this man- And your body, your mind, your every fibre will fight it. But if you succeed, you will be remade a whole new man. A better man- A warrior without match.” 

 

Kylo feels his nostrils flare, feels dread creep up on him. Is that what the Sith will be here for? Is that what Snoke has that man for? Is he meant to break Kylo? 

 

“Go, we start now, so that you cannot grow weak with fear.”

 

Kylo grits his teeth at the word weak. He is not weak. He will complete this trial, he will allow his destruction and he will welcome the one he is when he raises from the ashes of his old life. He will not be attached anymore, he will be great- He will be a legend… He will be feared. He turns and stalks away, not regarding the black architecture or the raging red light of the sun. He walks with purpose, following the pull on the front of his mind that guides him to where he must be. He wills his fear to wither, telling himself that this is exactly why Snoke must reshape him. Weaknesses are not allowed on a true warrior, he must be a beast… Always hungry and never sleeping, like he is a thing that crawled from the void to consume everything that it meets. 

 

He finds the room soon enough, the pull of it almost physical when he gets close enough. It's small, very small. He can curl up on the floor if he wants, but there is not enough space to lay out long. Each of the four walls is fitted with mirrors, glaring his reflection back at him. There isn’t a lot of light, only one beam of white light from a lamp on the ceiling. Kylo strips from his robes, leaving them on the floor because he cannot find any place to store them. He swallows a bit and regards himself. In this light he looks deadly pale, an inverted galaxy of pure white with black dotted stars… He has always had those moles, Hux loves to draw constellations with them and giving them random names- It’s quite charming. He huffs and shakes his head. 

 

No, Hux is dead to him… Everyone is dead to him. Only he exists- Only Kylo Ren, nobody else. He hardens his face and stares back at the reflection of it. His eyes look like coals in a fire. The prominent ridge of his brow casts his eyes in shadows and makes the usual brown of his irises seem pitch-black. His hair pools around his face, his ears sticking out just a bit on each side. His nose casts a hard shadow too, it’s large enough to almost block his mouth from any light. He looks dangerous and hungry, the light glares and turns him into angles and contrasts, dark and light. There is almost no colour to him, only black hair and white skin, black eyes, black moles, black shadows… He only has pink lips, it’s the only thing that makes him look alive in this light. 

 

“The wardens expect you.” Snoke tells him. 

 

Finally Kylo realizes his Master is not here like he had thought. His voice echoes through his head, so vividly that he would believe the other was right behind him- No, Kylo is alone… The Supreme Leader will honour him with his real presence when he is worthy again, when he has become the warrior he is meant to be- When his potential is met. 

 

“Go on, don’t disappoint me.”

 

Kylo nods again and steps out of the tiny room completely. It’s not cold without his clothes, the prison is warm from the nearby star, if anything it's almost oddly comfortable- Kylo doesn’t like cold, he prefers heat over the chills of winter. He wasn’t fond of Starkiller, needless to say, lump of ice, dreadful place. Hux hated it too, they would often talk about it. Hux was so cold of his own accord already, on that base he never stopped shivering, not even with that coat of his that was really quite thick. Kylo sighs and shakes his head again. He cannot keep thinking about him, it’s only going to make this take longer. He must be better, more in control of his own thoughts. He squares his shoulders and starts to follow where Snoke guides him, descending a long spiral of stairs, his bare feet sounding significantly softer than his boots had in this place. 

 

He finally feels a pull towards a room nearby when he has been spiralling down those stairs for a long while. He takes a left through the archway there and arrives in a long corridor. He feels presences now, he is not alone. Hux told him the wardens never left, that this was their purpose and they would probably die here. These wardens, they must be elated to do their work again. He walks through the corridor until he finds a high room. Its ceiling is impossibly tall, Kylo expects this is the centre of the Needle, the core. It feels dark here more than anywhere else in this place. There are slits in the walls, just a few to let the red light bleed over the floors. There are six of them, wardens. They are ominous beings, Kylo doesn’t know what exactly they are though. They don’t look like any sort he has ever met before. He stands before them without blinking, staring in their faces.

 

They are ash-white, eyes sunken and tiny. They have beady little eyes, four in a row, a sort of milky charcoal grey. Their skins are dry, looking like old wrinkled leather, pulled weirdly in folds where their mouths are. They have no noses, only two slits in their skin at roughly the place a nose ought to be. They are vaguely humanoid altogether, but their legs are longer, feet heavy, three thick toes to help them balance. They have four arms, long and sinewy, looking as if they are made to latch onto rock-walls for climbing. They look like towers themselves, almost uniform in height, easily reaching seven feet. They wear short togas, a deep red, so that blood-stains would be hard to spot if they cut and slash. Kylo waits, wonders if he ought to speak, wonders if they would understand him at all… If they speak Basic to begin with. He tries to read their minds, see what they are thinking about… There is nothing. They don’t appear to have minds, they don’t appear to think. They just stand there. it's perhaps therefore that Kylo is completely blind-sided when one of them shoots out an arm, a bony fist colliding with his throat. He coughs and falls back, gasping for air. He fears for a moment something broke there, he can’t inhale for a few seconds. 

 

They seem to smell his sudden flare of panic, and they prey on it. There are a few high pitched noises traded between them before they pile over him, hands pull and scratch, twist his limbs and punch where they can. Kylo sits it through, suffers their battering without complaint, he has had more and he knows he will have more. They don’t relent, as he has expected. He loses track of time eventually, he doesn’t see much, his vision black and blurred continuously when he tries to last through the pain. They burn, cut, stab, poison… They hurt him, in every and each way. They don’t leave him a single moment to breathe or eat, to sleep or drink. He passes out sometimes, the pain too much or his body too weak without nourishment. He is starting to fear he will not survive. The way his thoughts start to stagnate, the way everything in him is slow and slack at some point. Snoke was right, he does not recognize himself- But he is not stronger. 

 

He is weak, shivering and sick to his core. He is dying. He barely registers it when they drag him back to the mirrored room. He has never felt more grateful in his life to be alone. He curls up in his robes and presses into a corner. How many days have passed? How long has he been unconscious between these sessions? He can’t think, he can’t- Slowly he steadies his breath, he has to centre himself, he has to cope. He must, but his body disobeys his every intention. He just wants sleep, he needs sleep. It will take his mind off the pain, the constant soreness of every fibre being damaged and ruined. He hasn’t opened his eyes yet anyway, if he keeps them shut long enough he will be able to fall asleep. He really does want it, a reprieve from the hunger, the pain, the intense thirst. He struggles his eyes open shortly, staring at his palm. The name remains, his Armitage remains in his skin. His sentiment remains- Still deep, still strong… He is far from what Snoke wants to make of him. 

 

The Sith is not here… Not yet. Kylo is starting to wonder if it's all even real. Maybe he was just dreaming all those times, maybe his mind was making images and jumbling them. Maybe, he has mixed the true future up with idle hopes. His fate might be so very different, his mysterious encounter could be nothing more than deranged and desperate craving. He curls tighter in on himself and presses his nose against the mark in his wrist, as if he would be able to summon his true beloved in that way. Instead he starts to fall asleep, dreamless at first when exhaustion takes the better of him… Until he slowly drifts into the Force again, and once again the Force shows him scenes that feel so real- Scenes that might be Kylo’s future, scenes that truly make him believe that it is. 

 

_ It’s the wardens that he sees first. There aren’t six of them, no- There are heaps, dozens, like a plague; only this plague is dead. They all are, one by one, dead. He sees it when his eyes scan the room in confusion. He feels something stroke his knee, so he turns, sharply. It’s fabric, a cloak, simple and generic, yet utterly welcome to soothe his skin. It was draped into his lap, and his eyes move up to the figure that gave it to him, who stands by the windows, regarding the dying sun. He is faceless, a solemn silhouette against the raging red of a dying sun. His back is turned, rigid and poised, as he watches the red of that sun flicker and burst. There is fascination in him, even if his face is hidden, even if all there is to be seen is the dark outline of his presence- A tall and powerful man against the red fire of a sun that is spinning out of control. He is so strong with the Force that it dizzies Kylo, makes him feel drunk.  _

 

_ “He has lied to you.” The other speaks.  _

 

_ His voice is altered, passing through a vocoder of sorts.  _

 

_ “Who?” Kylo breathes, delirious with pain and confusion.  _

 

_ “You know who.” The man insists. “He has betrayed you, and you know it.”  _

 

Kylo startles awake suddenly. He spoke! He has heard him speak. All his earlier reservations of the truth in these visions has disappeared, he’s even angry with himself for doubting it all in the first place. Of course it's real, of course it's true. He will be there- He will… He will kill the wardens and he’ll tell Kylo he has been betrayed. Someone will betray him, someone will spite him and try to bring him down. Who would do such a thing to him? The man had said that Kylo knows who it's, that he is aware of this already. He does not like the implications of that, he will be betrayed by someone he knows.

 

It will have to be something to do with the wardens. He has seen them dead in that vision, so many of them that it made shivers run down his spine at the sheer number of them. The wardens- Are they corrupted somehow? Are they to be sent on him to kill him now that he is here? But then the traitor is someone that knows he is in the Black Needle, someone that knows that the wardens even exist here and that Kylo would be with them. Someone that has all the information of his whereabouts. He grits his teeth and curls his hands into fists. He can think of someone, he can think of someone that knows enough that he could stage an attack to get him out of the way somehow. He just cannot fathom why he would- Why now, why at all? But it's true… Hux has all the resources in his hand to betray him like that- Motives be damned- Kylo will have his head for what he does to him.

 

Slowly he sits up, awake now anyway. The mirrors glare at him when he finally takes a moment to look around him. They show him dark bruises, dried blood and painful looking burns. His ordeal here is heavy, Snoke’s plans for him are hard to endure. He doesn’t try to soothe the wounds, they are meant to be there and they are meant to hurt. He needs to be destroyed before he can be renewed, Snoke has told him that. On the other hand, it will be impossible to determine now when the wardens do something they shouldn’t be doing. When is it Snoke’s orders- When will it be Hux’s? Kylo trusts his vision, he trusts that the Sith he sees will be there to save him before their plans are executed. He will endure what he has to, and he will survive. He figures that this vision is still in his future, that it will be a while. Hux wouldn’t act too fast. He is calculating and clever. He would have to develop his plan first, question its worth, and make it airtight… By the time he has sent his order, it will be a few weeks from now. 

 

Kylo doesn’t exactly know how many days it has been since they said goodbye at the gates of  this place- But he knows it's not yet a week ago, he hasn’t been in this facility long enough for that. His body would have felt different, there would have been more healing and progress to some of the first wounds- He can’t be here much longer than five days now. He sighs and slowly cards a hand through his hair. It’s tangled and crusted with blood in a few places. He looks like he has been lost in the wild. His chin is starting to darken with the stubble of facial hair, and he smells downright foul. His own reek disgusts him, especially in the narrow confines of this room. His every move hurts, in wounds, stiff muscle or burned skin. 

 

He hears them coming not even much later, the wardens, as if they were waiting for him to wake. When the door opens he doesn’t flinch, he’s even sort of proud that he doesn’t. They toss a ration in his lap, pointing at him to insinuate he has to eat it right away. It’s tasteless and doesn’t smell like anything, but the texture is easy to eat. Kylo works it down and does the same with the bottle of water they pass to him next. When he has finished those they urge him to stand and follow. He doesn’t protest and walks after them, pursing his lips at the sore joints that hurt with his every step. They take him back to that main room, that centre of the Needle where every little sigh echoes on the empty walls. He bleeds and hurts again, shaking and screaming when his body refuses to take any more. It’s worse now. Nothing gets the chance to heal and his body grows tired of the abuse, it needs time and nutrition. There are limited calories in the food and water he is given, and his sleep is cut to only a sparse few hours over some days.

 

He passes out more frequently, but it isn’t like sleep, it’s blackness from which he is eventually torn again when the pain manages to pierce through the void he is in. He dreams the vision often, but it's the same each time, nothing changes or becomes clearer. Kylo tries to steer his focus in them, tries to pry more information from what he sees, but it's solid. it's just there, like a silent promise… A thing to hold onto. He is starting to feel impatient now. Why does Hux take so long to set his plans in motion? Why can’t he hurry up? If he does, then the Sith will come for him and he will stop the hurting. Kylo will enjoy seeing the wardens dead for the pain they cause. Snoke may be displeased that the fracture of his weaknesses is halted, but Kylo will find a different way to lose his sentiments. He is far already, he has forgotten his affection for Hux, he hates him… He hates him for what he will do to him- Even if it hasn’t happened yet. 

 

He is however less successful in losing the name on his wrist. The name Armitage remains there- And it remains deep and prominent. He still catches himself pressing his lips to it and softly begging for the other to know how much pain he is in. He shouldn’t seek out affection, he should be pleased that he has never met this man, that he is a ghost. He should curse him and hate him for never being there. He should forget and pursue his power instead. Yet he keeps going to the idea of that man existing, and like a child he tries to make a connection, tries to imagine being loved without condition and he wants it too much. He craves the idea of a heart that is no longer shattered and alone. He is still too weak. He realizes this even more as he is once again on the cold floor of that room. He has started to associate it with Hell. His Hell, where he suffers without progress, for weeks now. Just three days ago was the first time he was finally washed. It was rough, he was too limp to resist or complain, the scrubbing agitated everything that already hurt so much, the shave they gave him cut and nicked his skin in many places, and the snip they gave to his hair was sloppy and haphazard. 

 

He is still sort of happy for it though, the feeling of dense facial hair was disgusting and his skin was so slippery with muck that he couldn’t even be held by the arms properly. It had been so laughable and stupid, he was a pathetic heap of human. Not that he is much better now, he still is laughable, he still looks sad and disgusting. He has lost some shape. His muscles don’t get their exercise and the food is so minimal that it can only keep him alive, not support his strength. He is slowly reducing to nothing and he does not even resist- it's what his master wants from him… it's what he wants- Should want… He doesn’t want it. He just wants it to stop, to cry out to Snoke that he has had enough, that he is not made for this and that he is afraid to lose his humanity. He doesn’t want to stop feeling. It terrifies him that he could. He isn’t supposed to value his feelings or his humanity. It makes him weak, it makes him susceptible to manipulation from the demons like Hux, that prey on the fact that he cares for them eventually.

 

He is alone for the moment, the wardens have retreated to let him catch his breath, or to find new methods to hurt him, he isn’t even sure. He just curls up and he presses his wrist against his heart. it's hammering and thrumming, erratic and whimpering like the rest of him. He can imagine the other feeling it somehow, that he senses the ache in Kylo and worries for him, that maybe he cries for him even though he doesn’t know him. He wants to beg Snoke to stop doing this to him, that he will be strong with his sentiments intact, that he will learn to love and to fight at the same time… After all, doesn’t real power come from having something to fight for? He shakes his head and clenches his jaw, hardening himself. it's those exact thoughts that make him far too weak. He cannot allow them so easily… He cannot- Will not. 

 

The wardens return, and they aren’t ready to come for him again, instead they seem to be waiting for something, seem to be detached- Wrong… Kylo narrows his eyes and then widens them. This is it… He knows it is. He scrambles to his feet and starts to run, ignoring every bone in his body when it screams for him to lay the fuck back down. The wardens react, the shrill noises they emit travel along the walls and Kylo knows they are calling for reinforcements. He feels a dread around his chest when he fears his vision is not coming to life, that his actions have changed its outcome on the last moment. He might just get killed here because he fled too early- Because he has known about this too long and has reacted too fast. He doesn’t stop running, he makes it to that enormous stairwell and he starts to go up, knowing that down is not an option, he can see them there, piling and growing- Their numbers increasing as they seem to appear from every crevice and corner. 

 

He trips and falls a bit as he keeps ascending the stairs, cursing at how fast the acid builds in his legs, making every step feel like a bite from some venomous beast. He looks up and he sees they have started to come from the ceiling as well, using those odd arms to scale down the walls like spiders. He splits to the left, into a long corridor that is mostly dark. Just as he enters he hears it, the sound of hissing battle-cries, of combat. He halts and considers running back to the stairs to see what is going on, but reconsiders because he knows he is unarmed. He hasn’t been able to tap into the Force for days, and he doubts it will miraculously return to him now. Instead he starts to run deeper into the corridor, trying to adjust to the dark of it. He has to stop again when he can no longer see a thing, and as he stops to catch his breath he can feel it. There is an overwhelming presence of the Force here… Down below, ground level of the Needle. Kylo can feel it travelling the air, it's like a current, zinging and pulsating. 

 

Kylo almost feels lightheaded at the presence, at the overwhelming sensation of something so familiar and yet completely different. He is here, Kylo has always been right and he will finally come face to face with the man he has seen in his dreams for the past months. He feels the way it travels, the Force, accompanying the one it comes from as he travels up the Needle. Kylo can hear the wardens battling him, he can hear their enraged cries and hisses. He sets a few steps back to the stairs to get a glimpse, but yells in surprise when a few wardens crawl through the opening of the corridor, making sharp clicking noises as they appear to call for reinforcements. Kylo staggers back and farther into the corridor- Darkness be damned. He uses one arm to probe in front of him, surprised when he finds a door. It’s smooth, almost imperceptible. It closes so seamlessly it doesn’t let any light pass through it. Kylo looks back, probing the surface for an entry-pad or such, coming up short. His nails scratch at the surface even though there is nothing to pick at. Suddenly it hisses and unlatches, opening through the middle.

 

It bleeds red light, immediately. The door only stays on a slit, just enough for Kylo to slip through. He does, staggering inside the room before the wardens can get there. Right behind him the door slides shut, the wardens slamming into it on the other side. The Sith had opened it for him… Kylo figures. He turns from the door and looks into the room. It's this place… The one he has dreamed about… The small entry level where he stands, a few steps to the sunken area in front of him, the tall windows and looming architecture, the spitting red sun visible from everywhere. The room bathes in red light and Kylo slowly walks to the middle of it, feet making no sound as he descends the five steps and ends up in the round area in front of those windows. This was meant to be a lounge of sorts, he can tell. A meeting room for important Imperials, the view of the system forming the backdrop for conversation. The furniture is gone, but he expects it used to have couches and small tables, clean designs to fit the entire powerful vibe of the Needle.

 

Now it's rather empty, the bare bones of the room still there, the old Empire eradicated from its purpose. The clean elegance of the two levels of this room is still stunning, as are the patterns of steel that run over the floor, giving the floor a flow even now that it's empty. He startles as he hears the wardens bang on the doors, he hears their hissing and screeching as they try to force their way in. The doors remain shut, and Kylo is confident they won’t give. If this room housed important Imperial officers it had to be protected against… Unfortunate accidents. He feels his legs weaken from his escape, adrenalin no longer coursing through his veins in hopes to keep him upright. He slowly sits down on the floor, glad that the sun is there to spread a certain warmth. His naked body is so cold, so tired. It’s like a blanket to have the sun so close. He waits, tries to sharpen his hearing and even attempts to access the Force to know what is happening. He tends a bit to some painful areas, staunching fresher bleeding as he waits. He’s once again on edge however as he hears the angered noises from the wardens pick up to downright screaming, only to be cut off suddenly, leaving a very heavy silence.

 

Kylo almost doesn’t dare to breathe, swallowing thickly as he tenses his body at attention in case he has to run or fight off a sudden unexpected warden attack. The silence perseveres, the star making the only sound he hears, a soft hum and crackle from its own massive presence. His breath sounds too loud too, and he holds it, only to still hear nothing. It's very sudden that the door gives way again, this time it slides open all the way. Kylo sees him, he is standing there, just like in his dreams. Kylo doesn’t say a word as he walks in, boots surprisingly soft when he steps. Kylo regards him, not even blinking. The hood reaches over much of his face, hiding it in a shadow. His mouth and nose are covered with cloth, dark black cloth that seems made of a very odd fabric. His get-up looks sturdy, the fabrics layered and solid, made to last in battle. Most prominent is the long coat, the tails at the back just like Kylo remembers them. It looks very protective- The hood seems to go with a shirt under that, a softer fabric, deep red and embroidered with golden threads. He looks powerful, poised and simply stunning. 

 

Kylo finally breathes and looks away, craning his head to look into the hallway, seeing the piles upon piles of wardens just like he had seen in his vision. They are all dead, all of them… He flinches a bit as fabric falls into his lap, a cloak. He breathes in sharply and watches as the man stands exactly where Kylo has seen him stand. He clips his hands behind his back in that same way and wordlessly stares towards the sun. Kylo takes the cloak and slips into it, groaning in pain a bit as he tries to avoid the places where it hurts. He breathes heavily, unsure of how to proceed. 

 

“He has lied to you.” He hears.

 

The voice sounds the same. Heavy and altered by a vocoder, sounding like it belongs to an entity rather than a person. The vocoder sounds smooth, letting off no crackle and not compromising the clarity of the other’s voice. Kylo whimpers and huffs.

 

“Who has?” He asks sharply, wondering if this man will tell him, if he will get confirmation of his suspicions.

 

“You know who.” The man says. “He has betrayed you, and you know it.”

 

Kylo huffs and then nods. 

 

“Hux… He-” 

 

The other snorts loudly, and Kylo feels so taken aback by the sheer reaction that he snaps his head up. 

 

“You could not be more wrong.”

 

The other turns, and Kylo tries to study his face, there isn’t much he can see- The scarf over his nose and mouth cover a lot of his face, and the hood hides much of the top half of his face. Kylo can just make out the eyes of a Sith, yellow and red, swirling like a barely controlled hurricane. They are a lovely shape, framed by rather pale eyelashes. He can’t be really old yet, his skin is smooth and pale, from what Kylo can see anyway. 

 

“How would you know if I’m wrong… We don’t know each other. You don’t know him or-” 

 

“Your assumptions are wrong.” The other says, cutting him off. “I know you- Better than you think.”

 

“You- Have you seen my mind?”

 

The other pauses and narrows his eyes, as if he has to think about his reply.

 

“I have, but it's not what I meant.”

 

Kylo swallows… He knows him- Knows him… They have met before. He has seen his face, he knows he has. The other turns to look out the window again, staring at the dying star as if it mesmerizes him- Kylo belatedly realizes he is waiting for him, to recover some strength. He groans and wraps the cloak around himself some more. It’s not Hux that has betrayed him- He then realizes, if this man is so utterly sure then… It really won’t be, right? 

 

“Who are you?” 

 

“They call me Darth Solem.” 

 

“They?” 

 

“Others.”

 

Kylo purses his lips and pulls the hood over his head. The cloak is so soft, and it's long enough to hide in. He feels warm and safe, he finally feels like he can breathe. 

 

“Others.” He repeats bitterly.

 

“There is a ship waiting. I will leave you at the nearest space-station and you can continue your way there.”

 

“No.” Kylo says. “You can’t just- I… My master has ordered for this treatment. It- it's making me stronger.” 

 

The man is silent, averts his eyes. 

 

“Your faith in him is staggering.” The Sith whispers. “You choose to stay blind… Why?”

 

“What are you talking about?” Kylo hisses. 

 

“Snoke.” 

 

Kylo swallows at the name, at the way it leaves the other’s mouth. He has always assumed, since the day he first had the vision- That this man was with Snoke, that he was an ally, a gift he would finally be given when he was ready. If this man is not an ally- Then where is he from? What is his origin? What is his allegiance? 

 

“There were no more Sith.” He says. “Just like the Jedi, they ceased to exist, a power that has no more practise. And yet, here you are, suddenly out of nowhere.”

 

He watches the face of the man as he says it, trying to find a change of expression in there. That black scarf hides too much of him, and those eyes betray nothing.

 

“You are not the only one with family-ties that go back to legends.”

 

Kylo sneers, he doesn’t appreciate the way he is doubted, he doesn’t appreciate the secrecy. 

 

“You speak so ill of Snoke.” 

 

“If you would open your eyes you would too.”

 

“Why do I believe you? Huh?” Kylo says. “What fucking corner of the galaxy did you even come from? Where have you been? Why are you here?” 

 

The other looks away. 

 

“Because I had to come.” He sighs. “Because I couldn’t stay away.” 

 

“You talk as if we are close.”

 

“We are!” The other shouts. 

 

He huffs and turns away, shaking his head and quietly reprimanding himself. Kylo narrows his eyes at it a bit and slowly comes to his feet. 

 

“I would have known if I had met you… Someone with your power- I would have sensed it from miles away. And even then- Why would you go against Snoke? If you know me and are close to me, then where were you all these years when he was already training me?”

 

“There is no time for this. We have to leave. He will be sending in reinforcements when he learns the wardens are dead.”

 

“Why did you kill them?” 

 

“They were destroying you.” 

 

“I know. My master said I had to be destroyed to be renewed.” 

 

“You are too gullible… When a vase breaks, and you glue it back together, is it stronger or weaker?” 

 

Kylo swallows a bit and huffs out a breath. 

 

“He knows what he is doing. People aren’t vases, sometimes they need to break to get better.”

 

“He is playing with you.” 

 

Kylo stands up then and tries to look intimidating. This is not how he has imagined at all. He is supposed to be elated, impressed. A real Sith, a proper Sith… That dizzying power. He is impressed, perhaps even a little high with the sheer strength that this man emits. He just cannot understand how he is trying to pry him away from Snoke. His master is making him strong, is teaching him ways that are almost extinct. He has always thought that the Sith would be his final reward, an equal to help him conquer and rule. Instead he is met with a total stranger- Who seems to know everything where Kylo knows nothing.

 

“Why should I trust you?” He hisses.

 

He wants to, he wants to trust this man. He hates it that he does, hates that he is so willing and ready to accept some explanation that the pain Snoke causes is not meant to be inflicted. He must be loyal, he must doubt this man… What possible thing could he say to bring Kylo to believe him instead? What would shake him enough to crack his loyalty to his master? 

 

“My name is on your wrist.” 

 

Kylo feels his face drain of blood. His body slumps, his sneer falls from his face and his every nerve goes numb for a moment. His name… His Armitage. The other casts his head down as if he feels defeat. He had never intended to talk to Kylo, only to ‘save’ him; Kylo can tell now… But save him from what? He does not need saving. He has accepted Snoke’s training and he knows what is being done to him. 

 

“What is the name on my wrist? If you know me, if you are who you say-” 

 

“Armitage.” 

 

The name sounds odd with the vocoder to morph that voice. it's too heavy and too smooth, and Kylo doesn’t want to hear it with that thing, he wants to hear it in his own voice. Kylo grits his teeth and stares the other in the face. He is just slightly smaller than Kylo, and a whole lot narrower. He is made for agile combat- And he looks like he is deadly at it, but Kylo knows from everything in his presence that he will not wield any of that power against him. He wouldn’t have slashed through all those wardens for him if he is just here to kill him or hurt him himself. Kylo reaches up to the hood, and the other doesn’t step away, so Kylo throws it back. It slips to the other’s neck easily, and he doesn’t move, doesn’t look at Kylo as he allows to be revealed. Kylo swallows, feeling his heart hammer at what he sees. He stares at it; completely taken with disbelief at the truth. He is pale-skinned, with a smooth forehead that ends in a stern brow- But it's the hair- soft red strands, too familiar and too impossible. It's the shade of  _ his  _ hair, it's that same cut, even though it's now looser and softer than he is used to. He steps back, almost tripping over his own feet when the man reaches to his own face to pull down the scarf that covers the lower half of it. It’s his face, final and without doubt… No longer possible to have any confusion about it- Because Kylo knows that face, from its soft jaw to the narrow nose with the slightly round tip, the little mole on his right cheek and the fullness of that mouth... it's him. How… How… HOW? 

 

“Hux?” His voice sounds pinched. “No- How can you be… You can’t be… Armitage…” 

 

“You didn’t think my first name was General, did you?” 

 

It’s his voice, his face, with those yellow eyes and that uniform that is not the one the First Order has supplied- The uniform of a warrior rather than an officer. All that time where Kylo has seen Hux as shallow, simple… Incomplete… Because he was hiding at least half of who he really was. This is Hux… Darth Solem… Armitage. 

 

“Ren… We need to leave.” Hux insists, almost forcefully this time. “The longer we wait, the more of a head-start we lose. We have lost the blindside- And he won’t make it easy on us now that he knows.” 

 

Kylo sighs and steps forward again, taking a deep inhale and levelling his gaze with Hux in front of him. He doesn’t look like him, not now. He looks like he is that man he knows five times over, as if he- like Starkiller- has absorbed a power that transformed him from a hull to a raging weapon. He has never looked better, never looked more alive. Kylo feels elated, confused, and he cannot separate the feelings from each other. All those months dreaming this vision and he still feels so blindsided. He could have never seen it coming. Slowly he breathes in as he regards Hux’s face. Hux stares back, unflinching like he always does, but now it feels more authoritative.

 

“Why do you think Snoke is fooling me?” He asks. “Answer me that, and I will come with you.”

 

“I don’t think so, I know so.” 

 

Kylo scoffs.

 

“And how have you gained this knowledge?” 

 

“He told me.” Hux says. “It's the entire reason that you and I even met.”

 

Kylo flinches a bit and tries to react. 

 

“No- He… He is my master.” 

 

“Yes he is.” 

 

“He is preparing me- For my purpose.” 

 

“Yes.” Hux replies, looking pained. “But that same purpose- Is not what you believe it to be.” 

 

“Hux- You can’t… I can’t-” 

 

“You must.” Hux says resolutely. “If you do not leave here with me- You are certain to find out I was right… And you will die.” 

 

“Why?” 

 

“Because he has always intended for you to die- But only when you were ready to.” 

 

Kylo feels his breath pick up, feels his body and mind war. His mind resolutely tells him that Hux is feeding him lies, that he is playing an elaborate hoax that is bound to leave Kylo broken. His heart tells him that this isn’t Hux- This is Armitage… And he could never hurt or kill him because they are promised… By the stars they were promised to each other… Unless- 

 

“Show me your wrist.” Kylo says. “Show me that you haven’t lied to me, that you are Armitage and that your arm will tell me you are meant for me.” 

 

He inhales sharply.

 

“Show me that it says Kylo Ren.” 

 

Hux takes off his left glove and smiles bitterly. 

 

“It doesn’t.” He replies. “It never said Kylo Ren.” 

 

Kylo frowns in confusion and grabs onto Hux’s hand harshly, pushing up his sleeve so he can see what is written in his flesh.

 

“Ben.” Kylo murmurs. “It says Ben.” 

 

“I was born without a mark.” Hux says. “When I was five years old I woke up in pain, like someone was carving my arm with a blade. That was the night you were born.” 

 

Kylo runs his thumb over the name, Hux’s skin too familiar, so pleasantly cool and soft, the visibility of his veins and muscle so prominent under his skin… He has known his Armitage for years- And yet he has only met him today. 

 

“He wants to kill me?” Kylo asks softly. “After everything he has done to train me.”

 

“He has trained you to kill you… I can tell you everything… Please, please just come with me.” Hux pleads, holding out his hand for Kylo to take, the same hand that has his name on it. “Please trust me. Just this once.”


	3. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uh... I'm sorry? I know that sounds lame... But I never intended to go away... I've had the mother of all meltdowns a while back, about my writing. It was mostly insecurity, the feeling that it's inadequate and boring, not good enough, and I kept all my stuff to myself to read again and again, as if I had to prove something to myself... But I've decided that I am good, just different than maybe the writers I try to mirror myself with. So I'll try to be better folks.

Kylo feels numb, and he knows it's not just because of the medication Hux has offered him. It’s in his mind, deeper than anything chemical can run. The vessel they travel with has only just taken off, the Black Needle is somewhere in the far distance, too far for them to see- They travel too fast. Kylo doesn’t exactly recall that he stepped on the ship. He doesn’t recall much of anything. He just remembers that he looked at Hux’s face when he pleaded so desperately- In a way so unlike Hux. The look on that face was haunting, too sincere and pure with hope. Kylo couldn’t do anything else than say yes. 

 

Hux’s eyes had no longer glowed yellow, they were back to that indiscernible shade of paleness. In all those years Kylo has failed to decide exactly what the colour is that make up the General’s irises. It's a clear and pale shade, sharp and clever… But he can never pinpoint its place in the spectrum. It varies in different lights. Blue to grey, the softest shade of green- And on some occasions a light sort of hazel. No matter what shade they seem though- They are always Hux’s eyes, brimming with that damning intelligence. Now that he is no longer closed to Kylo, he’s almost overwhelming. The constant annoying buzz that Kylo has picked up all this time was a deliberate layer that Hux projected, but the presence of his real mind is so strong. 

 

Kylo cannot untangle anything from what vibes from him- No emotions or thoughts, it's just a presence, a continuous wave, like the sound of a sea rolling and crashing in the distance. He figures he might be able to do better when he recovers. He looks at Hux again, as he passes through his vision. He has shed the heavy coat that Kylo saw him wear before. This get-up is lighter, the same pants and boots, which already looked light and supple before, but now he only wears those with a tunic. It’s black, the trims of the fabric laced with golden patterns that are so very unlike the clothes of a warrior. They are delicate and elegant… Almost feminine. 

 

The hood Hux uses to hide his hair under is part of this tunic, but it's currently bunched in his neck, no need to hide from Kylo. The scarf is tucked under his chin, probably a layer under the tunic that Hux is not bothering to remove at the moment. The sleeves of his tunic are tucked into leather wraps, sturdy looking and running up to his elbows, tapering off to thinner wraps at his wrists so he doesn’t lose flexibility in the movements of his hands. His gloves are off, folded over the coat neatly, ready to be put on if need be, same with the belt that holds his weapons. Kylo looks away from the layers Hux shed to look at the man himself. He has pulled up a chair, facing the cot that Kylo sat himself down on earlier. 

 

“How do you feel?” Hux asks. “Is the medication helping yet?” 

 

“It dulls the pain, yes, but it will not help me recover.” 

 

Hux smiles thinly, nodding a bit. He doesn’t sit nonchalantly, doesn’t sit with the kind of authority that Kylo saw in him when he entered the room of the Needle- He doesn’t sit there like Darth Solem would… Nor does he sit like General Hux would. The Sith would look tall and radiate that power, shoulders squared, legs out long and seated in a way that spoke challenge and authority. The General would have sat exactly in the way the chair was shaped to sit in it. His back would follow its curve, feet planted side by side, knees together, hands folded in his lap- Proper and orderly. This though- This is what Kylo expects that Armitage is- Unfiltered and unhidden. He is leaning towards Kylo, elbows on his thighs and his hands dangling in the empty space between his legs. His right foot has a bit of a nervous jitter to it, tapping a bit, even if it’s barely perceptible. 

 

“I’ll help you with that in a moment. I want to make sure you feel no pain before we proceed with that- It’s known to be unpleasant.” 

 

“What is?” 

 

“Mending.” 

 

Kylo frowns and shrugs a bit. 

 

“I don’t-” 

 

Hux hums and flicks his wrist, one of the throwing knives slides from his belt and hovers to him. Kylo is surprised that Hux wields steel weapons alongside his sabers, they are so unusual, so unlike the man he thought he knew. He startles from that thought when Hux slices a long line with the blade, opening his own skin in the palm of his left hand. The blood wells immediately, starts to run to his fingertips and off the sides of his hand. Kylo swallows and looks up at Hux in confusion as the other puts down the knife and clamps his other hand over his injured one, huffing ever-so-slightly with the discomfort he feels. He waits for a moment and unclasps his hands, showing Kylo his palms. Both of them are smeared in blood, the left one darker and with a small puddle where Hux’s hand dips in the middle- But that cut is gone… The deep line he carved in his flesh has disappeared, it looks like it has never even been there. 

 

“How?” Kylo breathes. “The Force… The Force can heal?”

 

“Heal is a big word.” Hux says, standing up to wash his hands in the small basin of water at the other side of the ship. 

 

He rinses the blood away and dries his skin, rubbing his hands together as if his skin there feels odd and wrong- Maybe it does… Kylo wouldn’t know. 

 

“it's referred to as ‘mending’ rather than healing.” Hux continues when he sits back down. “It can allow us to speed up the natural processes of our own bodies to recover from injury- It draws on what the body can already do, but it manipulates the time it takes to do so.” 

 

Kylo nods.

 

“I never knew it existed.” He says. “I never heard of anyone being able to recover such injuries by any other thing than bacta.” 

 

“No?” Hux asks. “How do you suppose Darth Maul survived the way Kenobi cut him in half?” 

 

Kylo feels his mouth open a bit, dumbfounded and shocked, and yet amused. 

 

“It seems an odd power for the Dark Side.” He says. “Besides, if it exists in such a way- Then why did my grandfather not just recover himself from all his injuries? Why did he not regrow his limbs and mend his broken skin?” 

 

“Firstly- Mending cannot regrow lost limbs, the body cannot do so- And Mending will only manipulate the time of recovery of a wound- As I have said.” Hux replies. “Secondly, he did not do so because he could not.” 

 

Kylo scoffs a bit. 

 

“Darth Vader was perhaps the strongest Sith to live- Why would he not master such a valuable power?” 

 

“Because it's not an acquired skill, it’s something that you gain at birth. Every single soul who is strong in the Force is born with alignments- Things they excel at and things they struggle with. At the far edges of the alignment-spectrums are skills that cannot be taught or learned, they are given at birth, as the midichlorians attach to your genetics.” 

 

Hux chuckles a bit.

 

“In fact… It was the first thing I could do with the Force, Mending… I used it to heal the wings of birds that would get blown out of the trees during the storms we had on Arkansis.” 

 

“So, you cannot regrow limbs… What else can it not do?” 

 

“Many things unfortunately.” Hux answers, sitting back a bit as he starts to rub a hand along his neck. “it's used on injuries. I can close wounds, heal fractures, soothe bruising and concussions and stop internal bleeding, in some cases I can even help the body to re-attach a piece of a limb if it hasn’t been separated for long yet.” 

 

He smirks at that, Kylo can tell he considers it an achievement. 

 

“But I am powerless when it comes to poisoning, sickness, disease or anything mental.” He then admits. “The body has no defenses that I can call on to manipulate for such conditions, and it cannot just work from thin air.” 

 

“So… If I were to go bonkers you couldn’t reverse it?”

 

“No.” 

 

“What about yourself?” Kylo asks. “Can you mend everything on your own body?” 

 

Hux sighs and leans forward again.

 

“You’ve seen the proof of it.” He simply says. 

 

Kylo frowns.

 

“I have?” 

 

He tries to think back- If he has ever seen Hux recover from something faster than he should have. He has never really seen Hux injured to begin with. In those five years they have known each other the General has never really been harmed- A few nicks and scrapes from one time that he went to retrieve an asset of the Order with Kylo- And it had been a big lie to take them out in hopes of enforcing the geezer’s own position in the ranks of the Order. Hux had been grazed by a blaster and his nose bled from a punch in the face- Nothing too major. Hux smiles a bit, probably following Kylo’s train of thought. 

 

“You never witnessed the injury.” He says then. “Only what remains of it. It has passed your mind once… Fleeting, but it was there.” 

 

Kylo thinks harder and chews on his lip a bit as he thinks back. Hux is referring to a scar, something Kylo must have felt or seen once- When they were together… When Hux was exposed to him. 

 

“The ring around your arm.” He says, suddenly seeing it clear as day. “I remember wondering why the scar went all the way around it, what kind of weapon would leave such an odd mark.” 

 

Hux nods, seemingly pleased as his hand wanders to the area. Kylo remembers it well now. It’s a mark he touches often- Because it’s just about the only impurity in Hux’s skin and therefore it fascinates him. It’s a solid three inches above Hux’s elbow, a perfect ring around his bicep. 

 

“How did you get it?” Kylo asks. “If you Mended it then why is there a scar?” 

 

“If you do it too fast it leaves signs, I had to hurry.” 

 

Kylo hums thoughtfully and then straightens.

 

“It was severed, wasn’t it?” He asks. “That is why you were so proud when you said you could reattach a limb that hadn’t been removed for long- Because you did it on yourself successfully.” 

 

Hux nods and pats his arm a bit. 

 

“I’ve done it twice more for others since then, but the day I lost my arm was the day I first tried if it was possible at all.”

 

“Who cut it off?” 

 

Kylo jerks a bit when Hux reaches for him, huffing when the other chuckles a bit at the reaction. 

 

“You have nothing to fear from me.” He assures Kylo, voice soft. 

 

“I- I know… It’s the wardens- They made me weary.” 

 

Hux smiled ruefully, as if he has regrets. 

 

“They can’t get to you here, I killed them all.” 

 

Kylo takes in a deep breath and then nods, looking Hux in the face. 

 

“Who cut off your arm, Hux?” 

 

“Leave it.” 

 

“Why?” 

 

“You would say I was lying.”

 

“Try me.” 

 

“Snoke.” 

 

“Why would he do such a thing?” 

 

Hux gives him a look, the kind with a raised eyebrow that Kylo hates… The kind that says he just proved his point.

 

“Because he could.”

 

“Because he could?? What kind of bullshit's that?” 

 

“The truth. I was rash when I was younger… He did not like rivalry. He said he did it to push me to learn-” 

 

Hux snorts a bit. 

 

“But I know he was blindsided by the fact that I could heal myself like that. He had meant to put me in my place- Incapacitate me. Snoke does not like sharing power.”

 

“You’re wrong. He is training me, isn’t he? Why would he do that if he hates competition?”

 

“But you’re not competition Kylo. Yes, you are very strong- But you are docile, he has a very strong grip on you, control- He does not fear you because you obey him like a slave.”

 

“Still… He trains me, why would he waste his time to train me to an equal?”

 

“Not an equal-”

 

“A warrior then.” 

 

Hux sighs and rubs his hands down his face, as if he is tired of Kylo. Well fuck him, if he wants to spread such blatant blasphemy he has to back it up.

 

“Not a warrior.” 

 

“Then what? Oh all-knowing-”

 

“A pig, Ren.” Hux hisses. “He is not training you, he is preparing you- For consumption.”

 

Kylo stares at him, any form of retort dying in his throat. A pig? Hux is delusional, what even would Snoke want with him for ‘consumption’? His power? 

 

“Your body, your power, your youth and vitality… Everything.” 

 

“Leave my head alone.” Kylo hisses at him. “I never invaded yours.” 

 

“You’re very open.” Hux simply announces. “I don’t mean to pry- It’s hard to discern if you use it to talk or if you are just- Venting...” 

 

He slowly reaches for Kylo’s face, thumb settling under a mean bruise near his eye.

 

“I love you, Ren… And I plan to finally act on this for once. Let me mend your wounds, we will talk later. You must sleep first- Recover… Please give me a chance, yes?”

 

“The way you speak of my master... You cannot just expect me to nod and accept it as the truth.” Kylo grumbles. “Especially since you have lied to me already, about this.” 

 

He gestures to Hux himself. 

 

“And this.” 

 

He softly rubs over his wrist. 

 

“You have known for years that we were promised to each other by the Universe, by ancient powers greater than our own comprehension. And you chose to ignore it, to let us stew in this misery of being this close… ” 

 

“I know.” Hux replies, not even trying to defend his motives. “I know, it’s indefensible. It’s true after all, I don’t have an excuse, I have nothing I can tell you.”

 

Kylo purses his lips and turns his head away. 

 

“Please do your healing Hux.” He just says. “Then I can sleep and think about it.” 

 

“Fine.”

 

Hux draws the chair closer and starts to hover his hands near Kylo’s skin, not really touching him but just skimming, as if he is scanning him. His fingers curl and move a little, but Kylo doesn’t ask why he is doing that. He stays dead-quiet, trying to settle down his mind. it's still fractured in some sense, the damage from his weeks with the wardens is still there after all and the medication also messes with his brain. He feels slow and confused. He barely even registers the feeling of Hux’s healing process. His nerves are dulled on all accounts by the same medication that makes his head so heavy. He just feels a sort of strain, something that betrays he should be feeling a sharp and stabbing pain, something that would make him see stars. Instead he just feels the strain, the invisible push and pull of whatever it's Hux is doing to his body. 

 

He notices relief at some point though, some areas stop feeling so stiff and swollen, his limbs gain more ease in their movements. Hux hasn’t lied to him about this at least, he feels renewed by the end of it. When Hux sits back again he looks tired too, which Kylo can imagine. The Force comes with a certain cost, it takes a lot out of a human body to use it and to wield it. Hux stands after Kylo settled back farther onto the cot and pulls out a smaller one, meant for emergency-use. Even with his lean frame he only barely fits onto it, which makes Kylo feel mildly grateful, knowing he is off better on the cushioned cot that he has under him. 

 

He lays himself down and curls up in the cloak that Hux gave him back in the Needle. Hux has promised him clothes and a good bath when they arrive… Wherever they are going anyway. Kylo doesn’t know anything- Hux doesn’t tell much and what he does tell sounds ludicrous, like lies meant to test Kylo… Maybe all of this is a test… To see what Kylo would do when confronted with a new power… Maybe this is Snoke’s scheme again, dangling Hux in front of him like bait. He has already failed then- Hasn’t he? He followed Hux onto this ship, willingly… What a weak mess. He falls asleep with that thought strong in his mind, sending him off to a rest that is dreamless and empty- Induced by exhaustion and drugs, perhaps for now it's the better option anyway.

 

When he wakes up again the ship is utterly quiet. The viewports are thick and sturdy, which means the sound of space rushing by isn’t even audible here. The engine is also quiet, not even making a sound, a stealth-ship then. Kylo slowly peels the cloak back a bit so he can look around. The ship appears to be set to some night-mode, all its lights are subdued and the consoles are dimmed. It could almost be cozy, if Kylo cared for such a thing. As it's, he just wonders how long he has slept, and if they are near their destination yet. He looks to the side to find Hux still asleep. He is turned on his side, facing the wall. The cot forces him to lay out perfectly straight, because Kylo knows Hux tends to curl up when he sleeps… He has slept with him often enough.

 

The thought of that feels more bitter now for some reason. Hux has lied to him all those times that they looked at each other, all those times that Kylo respected him enough not to look at his wrist to study that name, and Hux knew… He will hear his reason soon, he will ask him until Hux cracks and spills what he was thinking when he kept Kylo at bay. He must have honestly thought he could stave off the threads of fate. Hux is delusional like that. He has always acted like humanity and emotion are weaknesses that he is strong enough to avoid. Truth is, Hux is a lonely and damaged soul… Has always been like that. His childhood in the Order has done things to him- Things that are real and true, that he cannot falsify like he has falsified his lack of power. Hux is good at acting and trickery- He had Kylo fooled after all- For five years no less, but his damages and his ruin, those are real. 

 

Kylo has taken pity in him often, feeling sorry very often for the way Hux could fluctuate between affection and distance, like a flickering light. He would reel Kylo in with a need so intense that it was hard to ignore and deny; but then he would sneer and snarl when he felt Kylo get to close. He would pull up walls so fast that Kylo felt thrown out, sometimes literally when Hux would suddenly force him out of the room they would share. It always infuriated him before. He starts to understand now. Hux was dangling himself on a cord, telling himself he did not need his soulmate- That he could do without the one he was promised at birth. And yet he would crumble sometimes and reach for Kylo anyway, promising himself that it would only ever be superficial- Stress-relief even perhaps. The only thing Kylo cannot understand is why he does it. Why does Hux want to push him away? To be promised is a bond that is stronger than anything in the world, it's true belonging- Why would he give that up when it was right there for him to take?

 

Kylo startles from his musings when he hears Hux move. It’s a rustle of fabric and a huff of a breath, but it's easy to pick up in this silence. Kylo shifts his gaze to look at him, Hux turning on his other side, eyes still closed. Kylo wonders if he is asleep, Hux is not as easy to read anymore after all. His presence and power is always there, as a constant sort of radiation, but Kylo cannot reach past it, as if there is a void between that presence and the real Hux. He comes up blank when he tries to probe and it frustrates him to no end. He figures Hux wouldn’t pretend to be asleep for any reason, so Kylo slowly sits up on the cot to look himself over. He is healed, and he is still surprised by the fact that it's so spotless… All of him looks like he has never met the wardens, like he has lived a far too vivid nightmare. Where were those powers when that scavenger tore his face in half? All the wounds from the Starkiller-base destruction are scarred in his body. A loss, forever marked so he can be reminded of it for the rest of his life. 

 

He doesn’t hate the scars, or the prominent way in which they show on his face. He doesn’t mind bearing the marks of a warrior. He has many more, a coarse and damaged skin that he wears with pride. Many occasions that he can trace back in his own flesh. He just hates what these particular scars represent. They are the death of Han Solo, that has weakened him so- A fight he shouldn’t have lost, a weapon that shouldn’t have been destroyed. Failure in too many aspects, a deep low in his life and a fat blow in his confidence. It was the first time that he questioned what Snoke had in mind for him. He had assured Kylo that cutting away his sentiments would strengthen him- And yet he had weakened so much that night- From the death of a man he had told himself he did not need. 

 

“Kylo...”    
  
Kylo turns again, looking over to Hux to see what he wants… But he is still asleep. Kylo slowly leans towards him, studying his face. He is as hard to read physically as mentally, his face doesn’t give anything away. 

 

“What is it?” He asks softly. 

 

No answer, so Kylo sits back again, tracing the lines on his wrist. Armitage… He sighs a bit… Hux is right about one thing- Snoke’s insistence to remove his sentiments… He has doubted that from the start. Passion, anger, even his small bits of happiness- They drive his fight and his battles. Look at Hux for example- He has spent all those years pushing Kylo away only to come for him after all, needing him. Yet, that one thing doesn’t prove that Hux is correct. Even more so Kylo still wonders if all this in itself is an elaborate test on his loyalty. There is one way to find out… The answers for that are all in one head- If he can poke through that void he can find Hux’s true intentions. Answers, he needs answers, or it will drive him mad.

 

He props himself up on the edge of the cot, keeping his eyes trained on Hux’s face as he reaches out his hand, fingers tensing a bit as he levels the force between the points of his digits. He pushes against Hux’s consciousness, poking through that wall he always feels and moving through that sort of void that follows. He keeps pushing, careful so he won’t use too much strength and hurt Hux. He doesn’t want to hurt him, he never really did. He manages to push against the circle of Hux’s mind eventually- The give is easier now that Hux is still asleep. He sees fragments of his superficial thoughts, fleeting and small. Hux registers a few noises that Kylo makes, registers ever so slightly that his left arm feels numb from lying on it too long. Kylo hums a bit and bypasses those lines of thought, prying to where he can find answers. He guides Hux’s dreams with what he can find, tries to insert thoughts of Snoke there, about himself… Hoping Hux’s head will trigger a memory in reply. 

 

It’s easier than he expected. He finds something, vivid and laced with unpleasant feelings… Something that hurt Hux- Heavy with hatred. Kylo pries at it, nudges it to the front of Hux’s mind until it suddenly gives and he is pulled into the memory so hard it dizzies him. it's strong, surrounds him as if he was there when it played out. He bleeds into the memory, forgetting the shape of himself and what he is supposed to be as its outlines take focus. 

 


	4. Separation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many grand reveals, yet again. Is there no end to the twists? - spoiler alert, no. No, but for real, it all has meaning to the story, I'm not just throwing stuff around for shock-value, I promise.

_ It’s a dark room, dark as all the places where he meets this snake. Snoke likes the dark, it appears to offer him some sense of comfort, as does the sulphuric scent of the volcanic rock around them. The rooms are hewn in this old mountain. It was once bristling with fire, but it's as cold as death now, silent and forgotten. Snoke has told him he already lived when this very mountain was still raging with fire. He isn’t sure if he believes that- Quite frankly he does not care either. Snoke is the kind of predator you avoid- He doesn’t look like much, but his touch is toxic and his reputation is there for a reason. He owes this very man a favour… A favour he would have never asked if he had a choice. He knows why he is here- It’s not hard to guess. He only deals with Snoke on a very minimal level… On common interests only, and if he wants him here today it's about one thing only.  _

 

_ “You are correct.” Snoke speaks, his voice sounding somewhat bored.  _

 

_ He sits high on his chair, like a throne- But what he thinks to be king of Hux doesn’t want to know. He walks to the front of those steps, pushing back the hood as he stares Snoke down, waiting for him to speak again, to elaborate.  _

 

_ “You look more like your mother with each passing year.” Snoke chuckles. “Your father must be so excited about that.”  _

 

_ The sarcasm in it is almost cruel, and even in the shades with his twisted face, Hux can see him grin. Hux is not easily tempted to outbursts though, so he simply scoffs, straightening his back.  _

 

_ “What my father thinks and does not think has stopped mattering to me years ago.” He answers. “Surely you remember the night.” _

 

_ “Oh I do… I do. Such a vicious child you could be if you would be challenged. So much potential in such a slim body. Both of you-”  _

 

_ “You will not speak of him.”  _

 

_ “I helped the child escape. And I may not even speak his name?” Snoke huffs as if Hux is petulant.  _

 

_ “Your promise was to take him away from my father and to pretend he does not exist, for his sake. I hope you have not forgotten those terms.” _

 

_ “At ease, I have respected our bargain, nobody knows where he is, including me.”  _ _   
_ _   
_ __ Hux nods and turns his head away. 

 

_ “You have called me here to return the favour.” He says. “What do you want?”  _

 

_ “There is a young man I have been training… You might have heard of him. The Jedi-killer.”  _

 

_ “I haven’t heard much.” Hux answers. “But I know you picked him up after what happened at that temple.”  _

 

_ “Yes… Kylo grows fast. No longer a child now, he is ready for more.”  _

 

_ “You chose him as apprentice? You don’t seem the type to have one- Too self-absorbed.”  _

 

_ Snoke chuckles, as if he is amused by insult rather than- Well, insulted.  _

 

_ “He is not my apprentice, young Sith. He is meant for far nobler purposes.”  _

 

_ Hux raises an eyebrow and huffs. _

 

_ “With all due respect, the boy was strong with the Force when he did what he did, and I trust that you have managed to draw more from him- But he will never be strong as you, nor me.”  _

 

_ “He doesn’t have to be.”  _

 

_ “Nobler purposes… If you have plans for him he must be special for something. You honestly think there is more to the boy?”  _

 

_ “Kylo is perfect for his use. He is loyal.”  _

 

_ Hux straightens, eyes widening ever so slightly as he realizes the thing Snoke insinuates.  _

 

_ “He is still young. It would be cruel to-” _

 

_ “He is not ready yet. Kylo’s power must expand before his vessel can be of any use to me. He must grow to his full potential, and then he must break- When he is broken, it will be easy for me to take residence in what the boy once was.”  _

 

_ Hux licks his lips.  _

 

_ “You want me to supervise him.”  _

 

_ “Kylo must taste the open world- He must fight in war and he must kill. He will learn to be a beast only if he has stakes to fight for.”  _

 

_ “So? You wish for me to take him places?”  _

 

_ “No.” Snoke says, waving his hand as if such a thing would be far too dull. “I want you to re-assume your position in the First Order. You have the means to… Convince a few people to re-assert your rank. Work back into their midst for a few years, no word of your power or your heritage. I will insert Kylo once you are ready to receive him.”  _

 

_ “He will know my powers the moment we are within feet of each other. He must have senses.”  _

 

_ “Then hide. For the next years I want you to be nothing more than Colonel Hux and I want Kylo to know you as such.”  _

 

_ Hux clenches his jaw and breathes in sharply. He does not approve of Snoke in the least, of his methods to stay alive or of his arrogance in thinking he can sacrifice a life for a greater purpose. But in the end he knows Snoke will always be seeking new blood to consume. He watches him as he lets out a sigh and then gives him a curt nod. _

 

_ “It’s General now, actually.”  _

 

_ Snoke grins, pleased apparently to have gotten his way.  _

 

_ “General then.”  _

 

_ Hux nods and looks away.  _

 

_ “After this, we are even.” He says. “And I want nothing more to do with you ever again.” _

 

_ “As you wish.” Snoke concedes. “Do this for me and we never have to cross paths again.”  _

 

Kylo feels himself materialize again when the memory turns foggy. He is aware of a body, of the shape that is him and him alone. And at that same realization he feels rage well up in his chest. Yes, this is his shape alone. Snoke will never own it, it's his, it's only his and nobody else’s… He cannot believe Hux is right, that he hasn’t lied. He didn’t know back then… That Kylo was Ben… He would have never agreed to this bargain if he knew… And since he found out he had pushed Kylo away, as hard as he could. 

 

“Ren… What’s on your mind?” 

 

Kylo looks up, staring at Hux who is staring back now. His gaze is still slow, he only just woke up. 

 

“Can’t you read it?” 

 

“I could… But you were right, you stayed away from my thoughts… So I filter you out.”

 

“I didn’t though- I had to know, I needed to have answers.”

 

Hux narrows his eyes a bit and then sighs, rolling on his back and staring up at the ceiling of the shuttle. 

 

“I already found it odd that I dreamt about that.” 

 

“I had to-” 

 

“It’s fine… I was struggling to find how to tell you, where to start-” 

 

Hux slowly sits up and smoothes a hand through his hair, looking out the viewport blankly before he looks Kylo in the eye.

 

“If I had known then-” 

 

“I know.” Kylo answers. “I know you. You might try hard to be made of stone, but I see you.” 

 

“I guess it comes with the brand.” Hux echoes, absently stroking his finger over his left wrist. “He won’t have you Kylo. If it’s the last thing I do it will be to set this stupidity I’ve been living in straight.” 

 

Kylo smiles thinly and leans closer, reaching out his hand and sliding it along Hux’s face, the coarse skin of his palm touching against that so familiar smooth skin of Hux’s cheek. His thumb traces the line of the man’s cheekbone and he finally settles it at the back of his neck. He feels his eyes sting, and he knows they are too soulful and open, Hux tells him often, that they are so strange for a man that is a beast- To have those large brown eyes, too soft and too forgiving. Hux says many things about his face, but he always says them so eloquently, never vicious- Never harsh… He tells Kylo that his nose is so large- Too large for his face, but that it suits him because it makes it his face. He says his moles are so black and so obvious in that pale face, but that they are like inverted space, black stars in a white void. 

 

Hux knows words so well, every time again, he has twisted them into knives in hopes of stabbing at Kylo, he fits them with sneers and spite when he wants, when he feels Kylo creep too close, and then when he is weak and tired he speaks so soft. He speaks with longing and the most amazing smiles. Hux has such soft sides when he lets his guard down. Now too, he smiles at Kylo with such tenderness that it melts him, that it makes Kylo smile too and causes his hand to quiver. He leans in and kisses him, sweetly, on the lips. Hux has always resented him kissing there, and he knows why now, and he knows it’s gone- So he can kiss him now. He savours it, the ever so sweet taste of that mouth- So soft and yielding. 

 

“Who is he?” Kylo asks when he pulls away, his lips still ghosting close to Hux’s skin, his nose brushing the skin of his cheek. 

 

“Who do you mean?” 

 

Kylo hums and pulls back more, so that he can look into Hux’s eyes. They look better now, they are easier- Not as tight as if he is stressed. Kylo smiles a bit. 

 

“You had Snoke do something for you… The favour he has made you pay for. It was for someone else. You said Snoke was not to speak of  _ him _ . Who was it you spoke about?” 

 

Hux shrugs, avoiding his gaze for a moment. 

 

“It’s complicated.” 

 

“I can imagine… Nothing is ever easy.” 

 

“I will tell you… But another time… When we have the time for me to tell you the whole story. We will be arriving soon, so it wouldn’t be wise… You would feel a bit- Overwhelmed I suppose.”

 

He sighs and rubs his palm over one of his temples.

 

“Not to mention, I don’t like talking about it...”

 

He smiles a bit and stands up, running his hand over Kylo’s neck as he walks by. 

 

“You will have to warn the Knights.” He says then.

 

“What for?” 

 

“Snoke will know soon that his grooming is in vain- That you know… He will turn his focus elsewhere… The Knights of Ren is where he will be looking first.” 

 

“So, he would accept it to be over that easily?” 

 

“Oh no… Not at all.” Hux sighs, checking the consoles with a few taps on the screen. “But he knows me. He knows that his current vessel is on its last verges. I could take him out as it's now… He will want to jump vessel soon- And when he does he will be coming for us.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because he will not be thwarted. He will not accept defeat and he will take revenge on the fact that I relieved him of his hard work and preparations.”

 

“So… What do we do?” Kylo asks, feeling a tingle of apprehension. 

 

“We hide.” Hux murmurs. “His influence on you runs deep. If we confront him now I could kill Snoke, but he would kill you. We need to detach you.” 

 

“If that’s true, then why hasn’t he ripped me apart yet?” 

 

“He can’t. I’m protecting your mind. I am close to you, only feet away, he is someplace else, across the galaxy. His influence does not exceed mine when the distance is that large. But if we were to face him, our presences equally close to you- I would have to drop guards to battle him, and when he is in-” 

 

Hux looks pained as the thought crosses his mind. 

 

“So we must prepare.”

 

Kylo swallows a bit, suddenly feeling spied on. He wonders if that is true, if Hux is throwing up a barrier that prevents him from meeting his imminent death. it's true that he has let his Master into even the deepest core of who he is, but he never figured that it would be a danger. He felt it like an enforcement, a steadying hand for when he wavered. He chews on his lip and walks over to join Hux to peek at their course. They are half an hour away from arrival, the coordinates are to a planet, a small one that Kylo has never heard of. 

 

“Nio-8?” He asks. “What is on Nio-8?” 

 

“A haven.” Hux mumbles. “We’ll be safe there for the time being.” 

 

“You don’t sound very happy about it.” Kylo notes. 

 

Hux doesn’t look at him, but Kylo feels a wave come from him, poorly disguised. It’s pain, not physical… A very deep-running emotional hurt. 

 

“It’s been a long time since I came there.” Hux just says. “It will be strange to return.” 

 

Kylo just nods and once again wraps himself tightly in the cloak that he was given. It feels weird not to wear clothes under it, and he could use a bath… But Hux promised he will have everything when they arrive. Kylo taps the box of information that comes with the planet coordinates. Nio-8 is almost forgotten as a planet. Its indigenous population consists of a pacifistic agricultural people. it's a race that is separated from the war-efforts and has been for years, focusing on simpler lives and providing for their own. The planet looks inviting, the weather described as mellow, often cloudy- Sometimes with rains that would benefit the crops or softer rays of sunlight when the clouds parted. Kylo wonders how Hux came to find such a planet, how he found himself a haven there and what for. 

 

“It looks nice.” Kylo says. “Quite idyllic I’d almost say.” 

 

“It was once.” Hux replies. “But what matters is that we will be safe there. Snoke cannot find us when we arrive. Nobody could, unless we guide them there.” 

 

He turns away from the console and walks back to the narrow cabin, dressing himself again. He looks blank, his mind seemingly elsewhere as he goes through the process of dressing himself like a droid. Kylo regards him with some worry, but at the same time he does not wish to pry. It hurts Hux deeply- Apparently… Being separated from whoever it's that Snoke hid away for Hux. He wonders why Hux would have gone that far, if it hurt him so much. 

 

“It was what was best for him.” Hux echoes. “Sorry… I couldn’t help picking it up.” 

 

“How so?”

 

“My father… You don’t know what he was like. I had to protect him by letting him go.” 

 

Silence falls between them and Kylo sits down on his cot again, picking at his nails and looking out of the viewport as he lets Hux collect his thoughts. He doesn’t know what to say to him. He isn’t good with words like Hux is, he is made for actions that say maybe just as much- But he feels like he would be going over ice that is too thin. He knows very little about what is truly going on. So instead he stays quiet for the remaining half hour. Hux calls him over when they need to prepare to land, settling in the pilot-seat with Kylo next to him. He flies the ship manually for the last stretch. They zip over the treelines and fields full of crops. Kylo looks out the viewport to study the landscape under them. Nio-8 doesn’t have seasons, and he can tell it helps the agriculture here thrive, all the fields are lush with greens. 

 

They drop in altitude when they are over a forest, and Hux finally lands the ship by the edge of it. The field they touch down on has high grasses. It’s soft and wavy, moving with the light breeze. It’s about knee-high, but a path runs through it to a small house that sits just at the other end of the forest-clearing. Kylo walks down the ramp first as Hux powers down the ship and takes a few bags out of the storage compartments. The breeze is welcoming, high on oxygen as Kylo can tell when he inhales. This place truly is a gem, he figures, untouched by everything vile from the wars that this galaxy has known for the past years. Hux follows after Kylo when he has everything. The ramp closes behind them and the ship cloaks itself when Hux taps in a code on his datapad. 

 

“That’s the house?” Kylo asks. 

 

“Yes. That is where we will be staying for now.” 

 

“It looks so… Normal. I’d expected a base or something.”

 

Hux snorts a bit and shakes his head. 

 

“No. This is a home, not a base.” 

 

He sighs and leads the way, Kylo following him over the cobblestones of the path that cuts through the field. He wonders about many things, but he keeps them at bay so he can study their new surroundings. It will be pleasant here at least, it won’t feel like they are trapped- But at the same time he cannot look at a single thing without wondering how Hux came to know it. Does he own the house? Is it a family-thing? Did he get the tip from some friend? Does Hux even have friends?

 

“I own it.” Hux chuckles. “And that last one was hurtful.” 

 

Kylo tilts his head to look at Hux and smiles sheepishly.

 

“It’s true though.” 

 

“Not entirely. I don’t have many friends, but the ones I have are loyal and I trust them… It’s not easy to trust anyone anymore.” 

 

Hux halts at the doorstep and takes out an old key. He looks at it with a bit of a grimace before he sticks it in the slot of the door, turning it and pressing his palm to the panel as it lights up. It beeps lightly and the door clicks open. Hux hums and pushes the door open, looking inside. 

 

“It’s a bit dusty… But otherwise, just as it should be.” He remarks. 

 

He steps aside to let Kylo in and smiles a bit as the other steps by him, ducking his head ever so slightly not to bang it on the doorframe. It leads straight into a small living-room, which looks like it has been used only a week ago, if you look through the powdery layer of dust that coats the furniture. Kylo feels icky, getting the dust all over his bare feet. Hux lets the door fall shut and walks past Kylo, opening the windows in the wall that also holds the door. He smiles a bit at Kylo and flicks his wrist. The dust slowly picks up and swirls into a spiral, collecting itself before Hux sends it out of the window, leaving the rooms like they have only been used yesterday.

 

“Isn’t that nifty?” Kylo says. “You will need to teach me that trick.” 

 

Hux nods and looks around, wringing his hands a bit. The living area is to the right of the door, leading into a light kitchen that overlooks the forest with large windows. There is a door to their left, it’s closed, but Kylo guesses it leads to a bedroom of sorts. In the left corner is a spiralling staircase. It’s all quite quaint and small, but there is only two of them, and Kylo imagines it will fit them just fine. 

 

“I’ll go fill up the bath.” Hux says. “Feel free to look around.” 

 

He walks to the staircase and then pauses. 

 

“But… Leave that room closed, okay?” 

 

He points at that bedroom-door Kylo noticed earlier. 

 

“Nothing personal… I’d rather not have anyone in there.” 

 

Kylo nods again and watches Hux walk off. He will go up after him later, but first he walks the rooms downstairs. The living room is nice, the furniture is light, woven of a sturdy sort of dried vines and softened with pillows. They are white and creamy, delicate. There is a rug in the middle of the sitting area, looking soft, which Kylo can verify when he steps onto it. The wall that separates the living-room from the kitchen has a large fireplace in it, looking like it was used plenty back in the day. He steps into the kitchen, noting it's for a family-home, with a lot of storage space and soul. There is a table in the corner, with two chairs and a smaller children’s seat. 

 

Kylo furrows his brow and walks over, letting his hand slide over the back of it. Was this where Hux lived in his first years? Before the Empire fell… When he was only a small child. He can imagine it, a summer-home where Brendol would take him, together with his wife, to watch a small Hux run through the high grass and chase butterflies into the forest. He walks back through the arch that separates this from the living-room and looks into the basket that sits in the corner of the living-room. It’s filled with toys, dozens of them. From stuffed animals to little soldiers and model-ships. Kylo smiles a bit when he grabs a small Star-Destroyer replica, imagining that Hux would take interest in it as a child already and that his father would tell him about how he would own one someday- Command one and travel the galaxies with it.

 

He tucks the toy back in with the rest and closes the basket until it's as it was before he touched it. He can imagine that Hux feels sad to return here… This was life for him, before it all steadily went to shit. This was the time when Hux got to be a child and laugh and run through grass and the woods and spend time with his parents. A lost time. Kylo sighs a bit and walks up the stairs, ending up on a small landing that leads to two more rooms, a vast master bedroom that takes up half of the top floor, with large windows that look out over the forest, and on the other side a spacious Refresher, with a bathtub, a shower cabin and a toilet. There is a third door to a laundry room that faces the staircase, a bit cramped but looking like it serves its use.

 

“It’s a very nice home.” Kylo says when he steps into the bathroom. 

 

Hux is sitting on the edge of the tub, watching the water run into it. There is enough sitting room to perch comfortable on the corners, given that the whole thing is built as a wall-unit, with creamy tiles and blue rims.

 

“You must have been quite happy here.” 

 

“Oh yes.” Hux says. “We were.” 

 

He has put away the bags he carried, shed his robes too. He sits in soft underwear, not the coarse and unpleasant stuff he used to wear under the First Order uniform, these look better. A softer fabric, dyed dark blue. 

 

“I figured I would use the shower while you take a bath, I don’t really feel to chipper myself either after all.” 

 

“You don’t want to bathe together?” 

 

“I never use the bathtub… Wherever I am.” 

 

“So?”

 

Hux smirks a bit and then shrugs. 

 

“Alright, fine with me, plenty of space I suppose.” 

 

Hux closes the tap and pulls his undershirt over his head. Kylo eagerly follows, throwing off the cloak and stepping over the tub. He tests the water with one hand as Hux opens the cupboard next to the bath, taking out a few flasks that he perches on the edge. The scent from the bath-product is pleasant, fresh and grassy… Minty in some way, Kylo cannot wait to submerge into that and finally smell like something other than sweat and death. He feels so gross, so utterly gross. He doesn’t even wait for Hux to get ready as he slips into the water with a guttural moan. 

 

“Oh yeah… That’s the stuff, right there.” 

 

Hux chuckles, grabbing a razor and shaving cream and putting them on the edge for later, as well as a pair of scissors. He puts his briefs with his undershirt and slips in front of Kylo, sitting up straight. Kylo snickers a bit and leans up, reaching over as he presses his lips against Hux’s neck. He focusses on that most prominent knob of his spine, letting out a soft laugh when Hux curls his back to press back against it. He reaches his hands around Hux’s chest and pulls him back so they can lounge in the water, the rim of it lapping at their shoulders. 

 

“So… Did your parents get this as a summer-house or something? Or was it your mother’s?” 

 

Hux snorts a bit and shakes his head. Kylo feels confused by the reaction. Is he wrong then? He has seen the toys, the entire way this house is put together. This is a family home, of a small family with a young child. Hux is quiet, and Kylo keeps feeling he has made a mistake. He doesn’t understand. He presses his nose in Hux’s hair and inhales, closing his eyes as he lets his mind drift. It can all come later, conversation and clarification. He and Hux always have their best moments in complete silence… Which is odd, given that Hux is prone to talking a lot, Kylo a close second. When there is silence though, it’s as if they manage to interlace in ways that conversation cannot. 

 

Kylo slides his hands down, lacing his fingers together over Hux’s stomach as he runs his nose through that soft red hair, then down to where it gathers in his neck. He kisses his skin there and smiles when Hux holds onto his forearm eventually, a light touch, as if he really wants to just hold Kylo at the moment. Kylo can get used to this, to the quiet, the lack of biting teeth and clawing hands… To his soft Armitage, rather than harsh and unyielding General Hux. He kisses Hux more, turning his head each time to find a new patch of skin. His legs brush over Hux’s knees and Hux turns a bit, letting Kylo kiss his cheek and then eventually his mouth. Kylo kisses him with a dire sense of need, wanting to make sure that Hux will let him kiss him more often- He so wants to kiss him, now that he can.

 

Hux finally turns completely, lifting from the water just a bit as he shifts his legs to clip behind Kylo’s back, crossing his ankles behind Kylo as they sit close, noses touching. Kylo looks him over, never really got the chance or urge to really look him over, not this close. He sees freckles that are imperceptible from a distance, so subtle from the lack of natural light he usually experiences. His eyes look blue in this light, mostly due to the blue tiles and accents in the bathroom. His eyelashes are so stunning though. They are so light, like flickering threads of gold, they flutter in mesmerizing ways whenever Hux’s eyes shift. He is simply beautiful… He has always been beautiful, but Kylo can appreciate it so much more now. It’s no longer a nuisance that he feels as a distraction- it's the face he has always wanted.

 

“Sit still.” Hux murmurs. “You look like a caveman.” 

 

Hux flicks out the razor and smiles at him. 

 

“Don’t worry, I won’t cut your pretty face.” 

 

“Oh, like it would actually show next to this gaping maw right here.” Kylo says, gesturing at his face.

 

“You know… I actually barely see it.” 

 

“You’re not that blind.” 

 

“I watch other things. I see your face, and all the things I love about it… And well, the scar is something that suits you- To a tee.” 

 

“A ragged, carved maw… Suits me...” 

 

“No… Solid, dedicated… A warrior of the finest cloth, willing to bleed, hurt and kill for your cause.” 

 

Hux steadies his hand against Kylo’s cheek. He slowly starts a shave, running the blade down his cheek. 

 

“You’re lucky we have one here.” Hux snickers. “I wasn’t even old enough to shave when last I lived here.” 

 

The words leave his mouth carelessly, he doesn’t think about it… Not once, Kylo can tell by the way Hux’s eyes narrow in silent reprimanding. He sighs and refocuses on Kylo again as he continues his task. 

 

“I’ll show you later.” He promises. “You deserve to know.” 

 

“It’s fine.” Kylo says then, smirking at Hux. “It’s fine.” 

 

Hux nods and then slowly proceeds his shave. Kylo knows he will be good and thorough, after all, Hux often looks like he doesn’t even grow facial hair, his shaves so close to the skin it’s imperceptible. Kylo listens to the slow scrape and watches Hux’s mouth. Hux bites on it when he makes an effort, lovely white teeth that just pinch over that pink skin. It’s quite entrancing to watch, the curve in his teeth, the gloss of them… The way his lip gives and bounces back. Kylo is in love with him… Madly in love. He cannot recall why he ever hated Hux in the first place… Maybe because the one he used to know wasn’t really Hux- This is… And he is stunning and perfect. Kylo tilts his head back when Hux runs the blade up his throat, gliding without breaking skin, flicking off shaving cream when he reaches his chin. Finally Hux grabs a towel and cleans away the last traces of cream on his cheeks.

 

“There we go.” He says, rubbing the towel over his face a last time before dropping it on the floor next to the tub. “Much better.”

 

“Oh… Better? You don’t like me with a manly bushy beard?” 

 

Hux crinkles his nose at the thought, running his palms over Kylo’s cheeks to see if he really did not miss a hair.

 

“No… You would look dreadful.” 

 

“You’ve never even seen it, how would you know?” 

 

“It’s the way your face looks… it's better suited for smooth jaws.” 

 

He grins. 

 

“Besides, I don’t like kissing bearded faces.” 

 

“Picky.”

 

“Certainly.” 

 

Kylo snickers, amused by Hux’s antics as he kisses him shortly. 

 

“The water is getting cold.” 

 

Hux nods and slides back, reaching into the nearby cupboard with some effort and grabbing two larger towels from it. They drain the water as they get out and dry their skins. Hux sits Kylo down after that, on a small stool that was tucked under the sink. He cuts his hair for him as well, with the same care and precision he used for shaving. Once it’s right again Kylo dries his hair and follows Hux to the master bedroom. He is handed clothes, they are a bit odd- Definitely from a culture he isn’t used to. The tunic is solid black, with a high collar and half sleeves, a slit in both sides to allow movement. It’s a bit snug around his shoulders and chest, and a bit loose around the stomach… But it's very soft and comfortable. There are pants that match it, a subtle shade of grey, loose fitted but ending in clasps that hug his calves. 

 

“Whose are these?” Kylo asks curiously. 

 

He has started to understand that this is not a house Hux grew up in- Or at least not one where his parents were with him. He wonders if perhaps it belonged to a friend or colleague of Hux’s father- That Hux spent summers here with a child that was his age- Playing together as their fathers would be elsewhere. 

 

“Long story.” Hux sighs. “Let me get dressed… I’ll show you.” 

 

Kylo nods and hangs back a bit. The clothes Hux puts on look like they are made for him… They fit rather well, but just a bit small. As if he used to wear them in younger years. The jacket is not military, a more casual cut with an asymmetric close and a rather soft looking fabric. It looks nice on him, a very deep blue with silver trimmings and buttons… Forming a set with the pants he wears under it. Hux grabs socks and tosses Kylo a pair too, explaining that the floors can get a little chilly around the house sometimes. 

 

“Come with me.” Hux says as Kylo pulled on his socks. 

 

The way he says it sounds off, as if he feels defeat in whatever he is about to show- As if he promised himself not to speak of it ever in his life. Kylo wants to tell him that he doesn’t have to know. But he does, his nature is too curious and too obsessive. It would only eat at him if Hux does not tell him. He trails behind the other as Hux leads him downstairs again. He is fidgeting, picking at his nails. They halt at the room that Kylo is not supposed to enter and he opens it with a heavy sigh, not looking inside before he steps back and looks at Kylo.

 

“All you need to know.” He says. “It’s all in here.”

 

Kylo furrows his brow and steps into the room. it's a bedroom, like he expected it would be… But it's a child’s bedroom. A very young child’s. The walls are painted with trees and flowers, flowing and soft, with greens and yellows. There is a small bed in the corner, and a cabinet with small clothes. There are plush toys on a shelf nearby the bed. The rest of the room is lined with soft rug, so that a child could play on it. Kylo turns a few times, studying the other shelves and whatever is on them.There are simple things here and there, things you would expect in any baby-room… Diapers and care-products, a monitor and little trinkets. Kylo finally pauses at a frame that is perched on one of the higher shelves. It’s a picture, of three people. He recognizes Hux.

 

He is young in this picture, still a teen. He looks quite radiant, together with a girl that is about the same age… A humanoid species that Kylo isn’t familiar with. She looks happy too, gleaming with joy as she holds a young child in her arms, with her same mesmerizing golden eyes and those odd markings she has… But with  _ his _ red hair… With a face that is so unmistakably his father’s face.

 

“You have a child?” Kylo gasps, looking at the picture as if it will suddenly come to life. “You have a son...” 

 

He turns to look at Hux, who smiles thinly, even though his eyes look like he is heart-broken. 

 

“His name is Elan.” He says, voice unsteady. “It- It means Sun in Leira’s mother tongue.” 

 

Kylo swallows and looks once again at the picture in his hands. 

 

“Kriff… Hux… A son.” 

 

“I’m sorry.” 

 

“Sorry? Why- Why would you be sorry?” 

 

“It’s not something you keep from a lover.” 

 

Kylo sets the frame back on its shelf and finally turns to Hux, not saying a single thing as he walks to him and holds him by the shoulders. 

 

“Armitage...” He starts, licking his lips. “It’s fine… It’s okay.” 

 

Hux nods, his head jerking a bit before his shoulders tense and a harsh sob escapes him.

 

“I miss him so much Kylo… I can’t stand that I don’t know where he is, what he does… If he is happy.” 

 

Kylo shushes him softly and presses his lips against Hux’s cheek. He can feel that he cries, but he doesn’t look at his face. He knows how much Hux would hate it if he watches him cry. So instead he tucks Hux’s face into his shoulder, looking out over the room as Hux bunches his hands in the back of Kylo’s shirt. He has many questions… He wants to know about the girl Hux met, why they were so young. Why did it end? Why did Hux feel like he needed to hide his son? He will not ask him that- It would be cruel, Hux is already in so much pain to just remember everything that made him happy. 

 

“It’s okay… You love him… That is your right… You are his father.” 

 

Hux is a father, he once again tells himself. There is a boy somewhere in this galaxy that carries Hux’s blood and that looks so much like him. 

 

“How old is he now?” Kylo asks. 

 

Hux was very young in the picture he saw… A teen, a boy… If that child was already born so early in his life then- 

 

“He is 18 now I think.” Hux echoes. “His birthday should be… Should be two months away.” 

 

“You’re afraid he doesn’t live anymore?” 

 

“I know nothing about him Kylo. He could have gotten sick- He could have had an accident… For all I know I could have blown him up myself with Starkiller.” 

 

“You would have known if you did.” 

 

“Would I?” 

 

“You would have felt him near- You would have sensed him.” 

 

Kylo cards his hand through Hux’s hair, languidly smoothing the strands to the base of Hux’s head. 

 

“You are so strong with the Force- You would have been able to feel his presence… Especially if, if he has powers like yours.” 

 

“Oh yes.” Hux answers, slowly pulling away from Kylo as he rubs his eyes dry with the back of his hand. “Elan could do so much already at such an early age. He would have his toys march behind him wherever he went- Would act out entire stories in his little head and made them play out right in his room. Leira and I had our hands full to make sure he wouldn’t break half the things in our house.”

 

“Sounds like you never had a dull moment.”

 

“No… Never. But Elan was a very sweet child. He would listen if you told him off for what he did. It was as if he realized exactly when he was out of line.”

 

Kylo nods and walks out of the room, closing the door behind him with a soft thud. He doesn’t want for Hux to keep looking- Knowing that it pains him to remember any of this at all. Instead he directs his gaze outwards, to the ship and the forest. 

 

“How about we take a walk?” Kylo suggests. “Just to take you out of this house for a while- And so that I can look around the place a bit.” 

 

“That sounds like a good idea.” Hux concedes. “But not too far, the protections I placed here to ward Snoke away don’t run endlessly.” 

 

“You protected this place against Snoke, all those years ago already?” 

 

“Well- Not necessarily against Snoke. Against anyone. Unless you are invited to the house, unless you have been here before- it's impossible to find.” 

 

“Clever.” Kylo admits.

 

“Of course. I came up with it.” Hux says with a smirk. “And I am a fucking genius.”


End file.
